A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Work

Today was a strange morning…I am a miserable human if I don’t start the day with coffee. This habit started in college. I don’t like to admit that I’m addicted, because it makes me feel pathetic, but I definitely am. Anyway, the weirdness started when I  apparently didn’t rinse my travel mug out very well and ended up drinking a coffee/soap mixture. At first I was disgusted and then I remembered that there is a whole show on TLC called “My Strange Addiction” and it’s devoted to people who eat household products like soap (and couch cushions, and laundry detergent) and they’re alive and well so probably it wasn’t that big a deal. I still dumped the coffee though, and gave in to typical American consumerism with a trip to Starbucks.

So anyway, I’m trying to drive to work and the car in front of me is going insufferably slow. Like just amazingly slow. Like I could have biked/walked/rollerbladed faster than this person was driving. They also happened to be weaving in and out of lanes. I wondered if the driver was intoxicated already. Listen, I know Mondays are rough but a few a.m. cocktails will not solve the problem. I took a risk (this area is heavily policed) and sped up to get next to this person to see what was going on. Turns out that not only was this person 85+ years old ( no exaggeration, I saw the liver spots from my vehicle) but he was also TEXTING. On the one hand, good for you, sir, for knowing how to text but on the other hand…WTF!? I’ve always said that the elderly should have a harder time getting their licenses renewed. I love old folks, I really do, but the amount of accidents I’ve almost been in because of them is scary. Most really old people (and some young people) can barely drive as is. You do not need to add another obstacle. So anyway, there was Grandpa with his eyes completely focused on the phone, one hand on the steering wheel, driving 20 in a 55, weaving in and out of lanes during morning rush hour. Lovely. I was going to take a picture of this man, but then I would have been part of the disease instead of part of the cure.

So after I passed that driving test, I got to work and then 8 hours worth of other stuff happened and now here I am. Hope you had a lovely weekend. I’ve got another post coming soon, but I needed to share my confusion/frustration about old people and texting and driving and the combination of the three.  Ciao.

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