The Internet Apocalypse

I’ve come to a few sad realizations over the past few days.

1.) My trusty Mac Book Pro that I got when I entered college (five or so years ago) is dying. You know when you go visit your grandma and you try to go on the Internet and it takes 12 minutes to open up one window and don’t even bother trying to download a picture? Yeah, that is the current state of my Mac. Pretty tragic considering this thing used kick every other computer’s ass. I was trying to ignore it for a while. This computer and I have been through a lot together. BSing through many philosophy papers, writing a really emo love/hate letter to this kid I thought I loved my freshman year when he ended things, helping me apply to internships, etc. I even accidentally knocked a lamp onto it during sophomore year, so my caps lock key is permanently missing. Poor computer. Look at how sad it looks.

It has taken such abuse, and still it is a loyal friend. I’ve tried to ignore the fact that this machine has been dying for quite a while. While I’m waiting for it to open a link that I’ve clicked on, I simply go get a drink of water, do a workout DVD, call one of my friends from college, and reorganize my closet. Usually by the time these activities are done, my computer is almost ready for me to continue with what I was attempting to do. It’s not that big a deal, really. It teaches me patience. That’s a good thing, right? People in the world could use a little more patience, and this is God’s way of giving me a crash course. Or, I could just face the facts and realize that it’s time to take my tax return and half of my next paycheck, and buy another overpriced Apple toy. Now inevitably someone is going to either think to themselves, or possibly e-mail me, and say ” Well, I bought my Dell for half the price of a Mac. Macs are overrated.” Let me just say this, once you go Mac you can never go back. I have never once had a virus with this computer. When it was in its prime, it was amazingly fast. I love the photo/video editing software. And frankly, this is my blog so I don’t need to explain myself. If you want to write about the greatness of PCs, get your own blog.

I’ve had a few different computer people look at my computer. They all said I could probably get more memory, or a software upgrade, but it would just be smarter to suck it up and get a new computer. This pains me, but I know they’re right. I’ve got my eye on the Mac Book Air (it just sounds fancy, right?) but may just end up getting the non-prehistoric version of the Mac Book Pro. Do you have a computer you are emotionally attached to? If so, let me know. PCs need not apply.

2.) The Internet is great, but it’s making me dumber.  Lately I’ve found myself having to use dictionary.com and google for literally THE dumbest things. It is freaking me out. I don’t know if this is because I’ve been out of school for a year and don’t use my brain as much as I used to, but oh my God it is getting scary. I won’t even tell you the things I have to spell check, because you will ridicule me. I always know how to spell the word in question, but for some reason I doubt myself and need a computer to reassure me that I passed third grade for a reason. I know life was a lot more difficult without the Internet, but I also think people were more intelligent. You couldn’t just have the computer spell check things for you. You actually had to use your brain. Since I’ve started this blog I think I’m getting my brain back into shape. This is very good and also very necessary. It was getting a little touch and go there for a while. This leads me to my next point…

3.) We (or at least I) would die without the Internet. Today the Internet was down for a few hours at work. When it first happened, I wish I had taken some video because it was funny/scary. Very intelligent people, including myself, began wandering around the office looked dazed. We were unsure of what to do. We were all asking each other, “Can you get on the Internet?” ” Is your Internet down?” even though we all know that we share the wireless network, so if your Internet isn’t working it’s probably down throughout the office. Finally people were so panicked that our receptionist had to come over the loudspeaker and make an announcement saying yes, the Internet was down and someone was trying to fix it. I did not know what to do while the Internet was down. My entire job involves using the Internet. After what felt like years, the Internet was fixed and life could carry on. I felt like I had missed so much. I checked Twitter and Facebook and my e-mail. I realized it had only been about half an hour. Then I thought about how people functioned in an era when the Internet didn’t exist. It was too scary to think about, so I stopped.

Lastly (this has nothing to do with my post) but I received a notification that someone started following me on Twitter while I was writing this. I read this person’s bio. If you read this you can tell that clearly he/she is not a spambot, right (huge amounts of sarcasm)?

Bio I am a funny person, I like to be honest. I really enjoy the summer, because I like the beach so much; also go to the movie. A good dinner in a restaurant, a


Great effort in the “seem like a real person” department. When you go to this person’s page, they just happen to have THOUSANDS of printable coupons! Wow, varied interests AND he/she is thrifty. This person is a great Twitter follower

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