Worst Daughter Ever

I am officially the worst daughter ever, but it’s not really my fault. Today was my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary. They took a vacation to celebrate. I knew that their anniversary fell sometime during this week, but I didn’t quite remember what the actual date was. I’m great with birthdays, but I can’t remember their anniversary to save my life. I know I could just write it down somewhere, but by the time the next year rolls around I forget where I’ve written it. It’s bad. I’m an only child, and I truly believe that this sort of thing wouldn’t happen if I had a sibling. If I had a sister,one of us could use her brain power to remember our parents’ birthdays. The other would use her brain power to remember their anniversary. The duties would be shared. This way no important day would ever get forgotten again. If I had a sister AND a brother, not only would the dates get remembered but excellent gifts would be purchased well in advance of the occasion. Because it’s just me here, all by my lonesome, I am screwed.

I didn’t want my mom to know I didn’t know when their anniversary was. She would be offended. Instead I tried to trick her into telling me. I kept saying, “So tell me the agenda for the week.” Hoping that she would say, “Oh and on Thursday we have our anniversary dinner.” Nope. No such luck.

Today I got a text from my mom saying, ” Did you know today is our 30th anniversary??” CRAP CRAP CRAP. Not only did she text me to remind me, she included TWO question marks. That was basically her way of saying, “I’m assuming a gift/card will be waiting upon our return” After this incident already occurred, I realized I could have just asked another family member. My aunt probably gave a speech at the wedding. I’m assuming she would remember the date that this occurred. Hindsight is 20/20, I suppose.

It was pretty obvious I had no idea that today was their anniversary. Instead of pretending, I made a joke about the disadvantages of being an only child. Then I went and spent $62 on an Edible Arrangement that will come with a “Happy Anniversary” balloon and pineapple that’s cut in the shape of a 3 and a 0. I wish I could rent a sibling for holidays so they could split costs with me. Also, my parents would get much nicer gifts.  C is able to get his parents gifts that are on another level from what I am able to afford because his brother splits them with him. The world is an unfair, cruel place with an uneven distribution of children. And my parents must suffer because of it.

So the moral of the story is that now I know that my parents’ anniversary is on April 5th. Not that I will remember that next year, but maybe one of you can help remind me. And tomorrow they will receive one of these babies

Then I shall be redeemed.


Update: So, despite my instructions not to, my mom read this blog before the Edible Arrangement was delivered. BOO! HISS! But they still loved the present and were touched by my creativity. I win.

Here’s a pic of them with their gift. My dad will be so pleased, I’m sure.


How cute are they?



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