Teen Mom 2 Reunion Recap: Lauren's (Female) Perspective

The Teen Mom 2 Reunion Special was on last night, and you’d better believe I watched every minute of the entire 2-hour production. This is a painful time for me, because this means that the show is actually over until next season. Kourtney and Kim Take New York and Holly’s World are also over for the season. You could imagine that I am pretty distraught. To cheer myself up, I am going to recap the greatness that was the reunion special. My wonderful and talented boyfriend, C, will write a post  directly underneath this one ( or read it here) which will give us a male perspective on the episode. Yes, C watched the entire episode with me. Actually he watched every episode of the entire season with me. He’s a keeper, I know. C seems to have some strong feelings about each of the teen moms (and Dr. Drew too). Sometimes I have to help him with names, but he has a pretty good grasp of the characters.

I knew the reunion special was going to be a classic as soon as I saw the first shot. There was Jenelle looking pasty-white and angry as ever. Kailyn looked normal and slightly ragamuffin-esque. Chelsea was a lovely shade of creamsicle orange. Her hair greatly resembled a wig from a Halloween costume shop. I am a HUGE Chelsea fan ( I always try to get her to reply to me on Twitter…don’t judge), but find it hard to believe that she would succeed in beauty school with that hairstyle. Then we see Leah, rocking a cute outfit and gorgeous hair, but with an unfortunate oompa loompa-style spray tan. On her official Facebook page, Leah acknowledges that she looked orange and her makeup was too dark so we can forgive her.

Dr. Drew chooses Corey and Leah as his first victims. Usually the whole point of these reunion specials is to look back at all the drama, highlight what a crappy person the baby daddy (or teen mom) is, and then give Dr. Drew a chance to preach some ideas about how to fix the problem. In Corey and Leah’s case, they are both terrific parents. They have typical issues you’d find in every relationship, but they are amazingly stable considering the fact that they are teenagers who have twins (one with health problems). Oh yeah, and they found out Leah was pregnant after one month of dating. Basically they were doomed from the start, but beat the odds. Yet Dr. Drew went right for the jugular by bringing up Leah’s daddy issues, and the couple’s temporary split. COME ON, DR. DREW! Corey is great. He is a terrific father and it is obvious that he adores Leah. Leave those issues alone. Then Dr. Drew starts picking at the fact that Leah had hesitations about getting married. She’s a teenager! That’s normal! Just because she’s from West Virgina, doesn’t mean she has a gene in her that makes her want to get married and procreate at 18. Okay, the procreate part maybe, but…The bottom line is that they are together and love each other. They are great parents and they take great care of both of their girls. They’re working to find solutions for Ali’s health problems. They couldn’t be doing a better job. So screw you, Dr. Drew for trying to start drama. I had a friend like you in high school, and she was a pain in the ass.

Side note: I cry literally every time I see video from Leah and Corey’s wedding. She was gorgeous. Perfection. And when I see him bawling like a child… OH. MY. GOD. They are adorable. Yes their wedding was camo-themed, but they admit that they are red-necks. No judgment. Also, could Ali be ANY cuter in those pink glasses? The answer is no. She could not be. And Aleeah looks JUST like her mom. The whole family is perfect.

Up next is Chelsea. Like I said, I LOVE her but she needs some help. Some of it probably isn’t her fault. If your dad is going to hand you everything, why would you be motivated to work? Or get a GED that you’ve been working on for two years now? But honestly, at this rate Aubree is going to get her GED before Chelsea. Luckily Chelsea says she and Adam have broken up since the reunion special was taped, because it was pretty obvious that this relationship was a waste of energy. The two of them even acknowledged how toxic they were together. I have a feeling, though, that they are on the Ronnie/Sammi plan though, in which case they’ll be back together just in time for next season.

I got excited when Dr. Drew brought Randy, Chelsea’s dad, out. Randy is an important part of Chelsea’s story.  In some ways, their relationship makes me uncomfortable. They go out on seemingly intimate dates, she tells him about her love life, she calls him “Randalicious”, it’s all a little too close for comfort. I’m also weirded out by the fact that Aubree looks EXACTLY like Randy. I’m not implying anything, but the evidence does suggest….It bothers me that Randy allows Chelsea to move out on her own as he fully supports her, despite the fact that she is neither getting a job nor an education. Randy, you’re better than that. Stop enabling her. You’re not doing her any favors.

Anyway, out comes Randalicious. He joins Chelsea and Adam (who is rocking the always-appropriate backwards hat with sunglasses look) on the couch. Then he verbally abuses Adam and it is ratings gold.

Dr. Drew asks Randy’s thoughts on Chelsea and Adam’s explanation of their craptastic relationship.

“That was a sugar-coated version of a trainwreck,” says Randy. YES! GET ‘EM! KILL THE SKINNY LOW-LIFE!

When asked about Chelsea and Adam’s future together, Randy offers this gem: “I see teenage kids that can go have fun together, but I don’t see teenage kids that can be a family together.” At least someone gets it, because Chelsea and Adam clearly don’t. This relationship wouldn’t be weird if they were just normal high school kids. How many times did you and your high school boyfriend/girlfriend end things? Probably a lot, right? The reason this relationship is so ridiculous is because now they are parents. Time for a little maturity, no? Apparently not.

Next is Kailyn. How can you not feel bad for Kailyn? She has basically no family to help her (her mom clearly has her own issues), she really is trying to do the best she can for her son and herself, and she has no self-confidence. I felt better when we met Kailyn’s new boyfriend, Jordan. Despite the obnoxious shoes and cheesy Polo Ralph Lauren shirt/sweater combo, Jordan seemed like a decent guy. They also seemed happy together. Things got awkward when Jo and his mom came out. Jo and Kailyn clearly still have anger towards each other, but it seemed like Kailyn and Janet may have been able to make up a little bit. Kailyn’s life has always sucked despite her best efforts to improve her situation, and it seems like she might finally be getting somewhere. She has a job, is in school, and lives on her own. All huge improvements from what we saw during the show. I do think Kailyn needs a hug and a reminder that she is a competent, good person, though. For some reason she lacks self-confidence, but I feel like she’s one of the most motivated and put-together members of the cast.

For the grand finale we have everyone’s favorite trash bag, Jenelle Evans. Clearly this girl has some serious mommy issues and could use some physical affection, but WHOA. Girlfriend is NUTS. Jenelle spends most of the segment lying to Dr. Drew/the audience/herself. The best part is when she says she feels like a responsible person because she let her mother raise her baby. A responsible person probably would have stopped smoking weed/partying/partaking in general whoriness and raised her own child. Details, details. She’s on the Chelsea plan, meaning she has no job. This is because she stole her mom’s credit card, went on a road trip with her loser boyfriend and didn’t show up for work, so she got fired. Since she’s been arrested twice she will probably have a hard time finding a job. But Jenelle’s life is so hard and unfair! She just wants to see her son! No one loves her!

I knew Jenelle’s mother, Barbara, wouldn’t fail to entertain me and I was right. Barbara is the best. She talks like a cartoon character and has the best catch phrases. Other people seem to have recognized her greatness too, because she has her own Facebook fan page

Later in Jenelle’s segment, Barbara tells Dr. Drew that she can’t think of three things she likes about Jenelle. This is probably supposed to be upsetting, but I can’t think of three things I like about Jenelle either.  1.) She’s in good shape 2.) She has a cute baby 3.) Um…. uh…. Nope. Nothing. Poor Dr. Drew tries desperately to spark some sort of reconciliation between Babs and Jenelle, but it is just NOT happening. After several minutes of awkwardness, Jenelle threatens to leave the set. Dr. Drew tries to put a pretty little bow on this segment, and then goes to a commercial break.

Sidenote: Does anyone else feel awkward when Dr. Drew asks the teen moms what form of birth control they are using? I get that it’s important for girls to hear about different birth control options. It’s also important for the teen moms to reinforce that they are now using birth control because they don’t want to get pregnant again. I understand and appreciate that. I just don’t think I would feel comfortable telling a middle-aged man, in front of a live audience and millions of viewers, about my contraceptive method of choice. I’m glad it is addressed and I know it’s important, but it still makes me squirm a little. I’m sure Mirena loves it, because every one of the girls seems to be using their IUD. Wait a second, is this some sort of product placement deal that MTV worked out? That would be twisted.

The show ends with a stiff question and answer segment featuring all of the teen moms. Leah and Chelsea get to ask each other questions. Jenelle awkwardly asks Kailyn a question without addressing her by name or giving eye contact, thus displaying her wonderful people skills. The cast then has a discussion about how the show is NOT glorifying teen pregnancy. I agree that the show illustrates the hardship of teen pregnancy through stories like Kailyn’s. However, I can’t help but think that Chelsea’s life is pretty sweet. There is definitely some 15-year old in Oklahoma watching this show thinking, “Wait a minute. All I have to do is get pregnant and then I’ll have get my own house and car, free spray-tans for life, AND money to buy all the hair extensions/leopard print bags/chunky sweaters I want? SIGN ME UP!”

The finale ended up with the best part, which is when they bring out the babies. They could not be any cuter. Especially Jace. That’s why it’s so sad when at least one scene in every episode is dedicated to a shot of him sitting behind a glass door watching Jenelle drive off with Keifer.

As I was writing this I realized Khloe and Lamar’s new show debuts this weekend, so I will have something to ease the sadness and tide me over until the new season of Teen Mom/Teen Mom 2 begins. The pain of withdrawal has eased. Phew

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