What the Eff is Wrong with Christina Aguilera?

Seriously. First she can’t remember the words to the National Anthem. A little bit excusable because those words are confusing, especially if you’re nervous.  Then she trips (seemingly over nothing) onstage at the Grammys.

Then she gets arrested when her boyfriend gets a DUI. What a great role model for her young son.

Christina Aguilera has one of the most gorgeous voices of all time. No doubt. She has terrific stage presence. Hell to the yes. But her face…what is wrong with it here? I’m not saying this to be mean, I’m just being serious. Xtina has always been a fan of the bright red lips, and I used to think girlfriend made it work. Until now. Several of my friends and I have been discussing what’s wrong with Ms. Aguilera, and I think the issue is pretty simple. She is a little pale (so am I, no judgment) and because of this, the red lips are not doing her any favors. In fact, they are sort of making her look washed-out and clown-like. The super bleached hair does not help.

Take a look at this picture of Xtina with a paler lip (and more of a tan):

Heavenly, right? Now observe her in her current state:

Ohhh, girl. No. Just no. Clown-like makeup and fake hair and pale skin.  Yuck. Yuck. Gag. No. Stop.  Get a spray tan. You can afford it. Dye your hair dark. You don’t even have to do it yourself, pay someone. Wear lots of eye-makeup, that’s fine. Just leave the red lips alone.  Go back to this look:

You won’t look washed out. Your hair looks more natural (though a shade or two lighter might be nice). No Ronald McDonald lips. Life would be beautiful.

The other thing is that our girl has gained some weight.  I am not going to hate on that, though, because she’s had a kid. I gained weight during freshman year of college and I have not had kids. I have no room to judge. Girls gain weight. They lose weight. Your body changes. Whatevs. I think softer makeup, darker hair and a little bit of a spray tan would do her a world of good. People would stop saying mean things about her appearance/weight gain if she her makeup fit her better. Also, finding a boyfriend who’s a bit more mature so she can stay out of the news for getting arrested would be nice, yes? Yes.

I have hope that Christina can get through this phase, because Britney also went through an unfortunate stage and now she’s super-gorg:

Send Xtina thoughts of Mac Lip Glass in “Prr” (it’d be a good shade for her) and also of a Mystic Tan (if you’re still lying in a tanning bed stop right now). Also send her vibes of a great smokey eye and some nice, dark hair dye. Thank you. She needs us right now.

Prr

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Comments

  1. Christina Sanchez-Torres says:

    I’m a huge fan of Xtina. She is my idol. I hope she dyes her hair back to jet black. She looked so Latina with the black hair.

  2. Thank You for writing that because I can answer what is wrong with her it’s her Marilyn Monroe obsession.Christina Aguilera has been channeling Marilyn Monroe for the last 14 years knowing that is not a good look for her.Christina used to be real and herself and then she started with the Marilyn Monroe project everything from the platinum haircolor,boob implants,booty injections to gaining weight.Christina had her nose changed and if you have noticed every project,commercial,magazine spread anything has to be something Marilyn Monroe has already done or said.Christina just on the voice latest video wearing once again a Marilyn Hairstyle and a blue dress is in a video not only fakely laughing it seems so strange how her head shakes back and forth and how she tries very hard to change her voice and cannot to a sweeter sound but her voice is deeper so the video seems creepy.I can tell you what is wrong with Christina Aguilera,Lindsay Lohan these two are the biggest wannabe’s of Marilyn that they cannot function with this obsession.Look it up research it and you will see it to be true.Amazingly no one that works for her can tell her that’s a mistake.I’ve looked up Marilyn and found Christina Aguilera under so many Marilyn wannabe’s sites that will she even be remembered for her talent of singing or being a Marilyn Monroe wannabe forever?.

  3. I wouldn’t change a thing about Christina Aguilera. She is a beautiful and talented woman who has done better for herself. I do agree with women and how their own body can change. I don’t like judging others and bullies. She looks great and sounds amazing. Better than Britney. I grew up in the 1990s listening to them including Nsync. Doesn’t matter how many albums and songs Britney makes, her voice cannot defeat Christina’s. You’re just jealous of what she has, and need to get your own life.

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