A Disturbing New Trend

I’d like to use this forum to discuss a disturbing new trend that I’m seeing more and more of in American transportation. The new trend looks a little something like this: For some reason, people are putting decals depicting their family structure on their vehicle. Why, you ask? I have no idea. I understand this is more of a parent thing to do, so maybe I will understand when I’m older…but somehow I am fairly certain that I will never, EVER, adorn my car with one of these things.

First of all, why do I want to display my family structure on my car? I don’t. I don’t really need strangers to know that I have two kids and a dog and a husband. That’s not their business. And frankly, I think it looks really weird and creepy. I don’t feel good about these people with their beady eyes and triangular yet boxy attire. I don’t like how they all hold hands with stiff arms or simply stare blankly ahead. I don’t like any of it.

The decals that confuse me even more are the ones that show family members doing activities. Sometimes they even include names. For instance: Brittany with pom poms indicating she’s a cheerleader and Brandon with a lacrosse stick indicating he plays lacrosse. I think that basically invites stalkers. I know I’m a rather paranoid individual but I think that’s a reasonable fear.

The bottom line is this: these things are just really creepy and certainly are not aesthetically pleasing. I keep a list of things I won’t do when I’m a mom. These decals are right up there with not purchasing a mini van, not wearing ugly, frumpy mom jeans, and not changing my email address to insertkidsnameheresmommy@gmail.com.

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