Someone Please Help Chelsea Handler

Let me preface this post by saying that I watch Chelsea Handler’s show, Chelsea Lately, every single night. I watched every episode of After Lately (the spin-off type show). I have purchased every single one of her books, and read them cover-to-cover numerous times. I adore Chelsea Handler and her sense of humor. I worship her. I love her quirky facial expressions and lack of shame. With all of this said, SOMEONE PLEASE FLY ME TO L.A. SO I CAN GET GIRLFRIEND A NEW WARDROBE!

Chelsea Handler is a gorgeous lady. She has beautiful hair and a nice bod. Oh, you didn’t know she has a nice bod? Yeah, that’s because her stylist hides it in ill-fitting shirts, and mom pants. She accessorizes with heinous, awkward shoes. A few examples of the shirts I’m describing:

 

Look, there are some times when I think, ” Wow! Her outfit is so cute!” but for the most part I constantly find myself asking, ” What is she wearing!? She is so successful and gorgeous, I’m sure there are tons of designers who would love to send her clothes. Why, oh why does she look like she’s wearing something designed for a much larger, much frumpier person?”

Please, Chelsea. You are so witty and crude and pretty. Do something! I beg of you! Get a shirt that flatters your lovely, small frame. You don’t need to be drowning in your tops, or wearing awkward, tapered pants in olive green or taupe. You are better than that, girl. Also, it’s 80 degrees out. Why are you wearing long sleeves and long pants and boots? I know T.V. studios are cold, but dress for the season a little more.

By the way, I’m reading Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me. Absolutely hilarious. I wish Chelsea wrote a litlte more after each chapter, but hearing the stories from other perspectives is really funny. Definitely pick up a copy. It’s interesting to note that in the book, her stylist mentions that people often tweet her and ask her if she hates Chelsea because of the clothes she dresses her in. Clearly I’m not the only one.

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