Great Relationship Advice from Kris Jenner

On a recent episode of KUWTK, Kris and Bruce faced some problems. Kris thought Bruce was losing his hearing, when in reality he was choosing to use “selective hearing” because…well…he found Kris annoying. They had a whole big discussion and made up and everyone lived happily ever after. The end.

But at one point during the episode, Kris dishes out some marriage/relationship advice that I thought was simple but extremely important. She looks at the camera with her signature Kardashian smokey eye, and goes on to offer this advice on making a marriage/relationship work:

” Communicate, communicate, communicate. When you’re done doing that, communicate some more,” she says. Okay, that last part may have been paraphrased. But that was the general message she was conveying.

This seems so basic, but it is so insanely true. Sure, relationships are about cuddling and having fun and going on trips and doing activities together. You shouldn’t spend all your time sitting around having heavy discussions. But relationships, like great haircuts, require a serious amount of maintenance. A lot of people get so caught up in the more fun, exciting things–or the things that make for good Facebook pictures–that they forget about this crucial element (communication) that allows a relationship to survive long after the pictures are posted and trips have been taken.

C is my first real, serious boyfriend. I dated around in high school and early college, but when he and I got together during my junior year it was my first experience in an official boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. When he and I got serious, I was shocked to find how much talking and explaining of thoughts and feelings was required. I had assumed that when you got into a relationship, you just did fun things and went out to dinner and cuddled on the couch and never had to say, “I need this from you…” or “I’m feeling this way….”  Um…no, Self. Maybe that’s how it is on the Sims, but not in real life. The thing about relationships is this: You think you understand them when you’ve dated casually or have watched them on TV or read about them, but you never fully get them until you’ve had one.

Relationships are kind of like a living, breathing thing. They have great moments and struggles. They need attention. They can end as quickly as they started. It’s easy to assume that since your partner knows you well, he/she must also know how you’re feeling, or what you could really use at that moment…all the time.  Sometimes the person will probably just get it and know. Other times, he/she will have no earthly idea what you need or why you’re upset.

At the beginning of my relationship with C, I used to assume that since I knew what I was thinking, he must also know. I would then get pissed off and pouty if my needs weren’t met, even though the only person I had expressed these needs to was myself. Eventually I realized that I should just explain to him what I was hoping would happen, or what I wanted, or how I was feeling (if he didn’t know). Then maybe that thing could actually happen next time, or my needs would be better met, or he would know what to say to me. Basic, yet effective. And everyone is much happier and much more relaxed.

Get in sync like your computer and your iPod...or like JC and Justin Timberlake

I’m not saying you constantly have to be explaining yourself to your significant other. That would be exhausting. You’re dating this person because he/she understands you. Because of this, many times the person will understand how you’re feeling, or do something nice to surprise you, or handle a situation exactly the way you had hoped. But if you are feeling particularly emotional, or have particularly high hopes about a situation, it’s good to just lay it all on the table and avoid disappointment or confusion.

Is it easier to just send telepathic signals about what you want to have happen and just hope your boyfriend/girlfriend somehow receives them? Yes. Is it easier to storm off and pout alone when your he/she disappoints you? Definitely. But I would highly recommend going all Kris Jenner and expressing yourself and your needs to ensure that both parties are on the same page. Maybe if Kris did that, Bruce wouldn’t have gotten two earrings, eh? Although his new haircut is a massive improvement….so…there’s that….

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