"Chicken of the Sea" Was Not An Act, People

Some people are stupid for TV shows. Some people are stupid in real life. Some people are stupid in real life and on TV shows. Paris Hilton is definitely stupid on a TV Show (“Simple Life”), is she stupid in real life? Probably. I think Jessica Simpson is also someone who is a little silly in real life and on TV. Here’s why:

Le sigh. The good ole days. RIP

It’s rumored that J. Simps doesn’t want to confirm her pregnancy because she’s holding out for a $500,000 magazine offer (she sells the exclusive announcement, baby pics, etc.). Okay….I understand she wants some cash. I think pimping out your unborn kiddo is kind of twisted, but that’s not my call to make. I understand that girlfriend is a far cry from Newlyweds (she’s marrying some random retired NFL guy, Nick Lachey he is not). But does she not see the flaw in her logic? To wait to announce your engagement until you get a good offer? Yes, this is possible. Don’t wear the ring in public. Don’t get photographed at bridal shops. You know the drill. But waiting to confirm your baby announcement? Jess, after a few months that’s going to be hard to do. She clearly has not thought about this though, because look at these recent pictures of her at the airport and in NYC. That picture on the left? Okay. Maybe it’s an unflattering poncho. That picture on the right? BABY BUMP! No way around it. I’ve seen unflattering angles and I’ve seen too much late-night pizza. That is neither of those things. That is a bump. That’s actually kind of a massive bump.

I don’t know how much longer Miss S. plans on holding out for this announcement, but this announcement is basically making itself in this second picture. Engagements can be hidden, eventually babies make themselves known. Jess doesn’t always seem to be the most logical, and I know her father likes to make the family some dough. Maybe this is a money-making scheme gone wrong. Perhaps they should reconsider and just announce the pregnancy now. Or they can keep doing what they’re doing and, you know, just let her walk around pregnant like a civilian. No shame in that. A lot of babies go un-pimped and grow up to be just fine. While we’re on the subject, let’s take a walk down memory lane and relive this great Nick and Jessica moment. RIP Newlyweds

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