I have many, many, lovely friends who were a part of a sorority in college. I love them endlessly. They are wonderful and smart people. But I just need to write about something that makes me scratch my head and make a noise like “Hum…” or maybe it’s more like “Huh….” My university was very big on Greek life. A large part of the student body joined a sorority or fraternity. I did not. I never thought about pledging. It just wasn’t for me. Here’s why:
1.) I don’t enjoy being told what to do: Thus, pledging and rush would not be for me. I have to wear a certain outfit? I have to get out of bed to go to the house and perform a task for a sister? I have to do tasks to prove my loyalty? I have to memorize facts about you? No, thanks. I’m stubborn. I want to go where I want when I want. I want to spend my time how I want with whoever I want. Perhaps I have a problem with authority, but this is just how I am.
2.) I don’t enjoy cliques: I know many sorority girls are wonderful and not cliquey. I understand this. But anytime you get a houseful of 100+ girls together, there are going to be cliques. Big groups of people cause cliques. It’s just the human way. Big groups of girls are even more cliquey. I graduated high school, I don’t need cliques anymore.
3.) I am poor: Some of the sororities at my school cost $600 per semester to join. My parents would not have paid for that. That was definitely out of my price range.
4.) I had other interests: Nothing against Greek life, I just wanted to spend my time doing other clubs. No big deal. Sororities take up a lot of time, and if you love your house then that’s great. But if you want to spend your time doing other activities, then that’s cool too.
I think there are many wonderful things about sororities. They do good things for charity. My friends who did them met great people. There are definitely aspects that I appreciate. But there are some parts of sorority life that I just cannot wrap my head around. One of those aspects is letting the sorority live on and on into the real world. It’s one thing to get together with your sorority sisters. That’s nice. It’s another thing to keep living in frat/sorority world. For example, the other day I met a girl who graduated a year after me from my university. She and I were both out in the real world. We were working adults. We did not meet in a college setting. Yet the first thing she said to me after she asked my name was, “Were you in a house in college?”
I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I have been working for almost two years. I have my own apartment. I pay bills and taxes. I have a retirement plan for some reason. I feel like a big girl. Yet I am still getting asked about what frat parties I attended and what letters I did or did not wear on my chest. This girl knew nothing about me. Yet she did not want to know my major. She did not want to know where I was currently working or where I was from. Nuttin. She wanted to know what sorority I was in for four years of college. Maybe because I wasn’t in a house I don’t understand the fascination. But, to me, your sorority seems like a special part of college that becomes less important as you graduate and join the real world. If I were to go out and meet someone who I found out graduated from my school, I would probably ask what they were doing now. Maybe I would ask what their major was. I don’t know. I would definitely ask something more focused on the present day. I absolutely loved college. It was a huge part of me. I just think it’s very bizarre to think “sorority” as soon as you hear that you’re talking to a fellow alum. I am certainly not anti-sorority. Some of my best friends were in them, and I think they offer a lot of great benefits. But we’re almost two years out of school. Time to broaden the horizons.
Am I missing something with the “were you in a house” question? Do you still feel an attachment to your sorority? Were you anti-sorority in college? How come?