Should You Get Back Together?

Some big news broke last night, did you hear? Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler are not only back together, they’re engaged again. I guess she got over the fact that he dumped her as they were planning their wedding. No big deal, right? I expressed my feelings on this important issue in a new post for Forever Twenty Somethings. Here’s a preview:

As a reader pointed out, these two should probably get back together

The Princess of Laguna Beach (LC was the queen, duh) Kristin Cavallari just announced that she and Jay Cutler are not only back together, they’re engaged again. But need we remind Kristin that Jay previously dumped her as she was planning her dream wedding? And, if you believe Life and Style, he dumped her because she was working too much. Uh, you play football, dude. You travel and play games non-stop for a good chunk of the year. I’d imagine that you work a lot, too. Find a way to balance your careers and your relationship. That’s how big kids do it. To add (serious) insult to injury, right after the breakup occurred, a photoshoot featuring Kristin modeling wedding dresses and talking about her wedding plans hit newsstands. Ouch.

This got me thinking about couples who participate in the cycle of making up and breaking up. It seems like some couples live for the drama of the break up and then the new burst of romance that comes when you rekindle the romance. It’s okay to take a break and get back together, if you do it for the right reasons. You shouldn’t constantly make up and break up because you keep fighting about the same things over and over. You shouldn’t make up and break up because you can’t decide if you want to be in a relationship with the other person. You shouldn’t break up every time you get in a fight, only to get back together the next day. I know couples who are so on and off that it’s nearly impossible to keep track. This just doesn’t seem healthy. If the relationship is that fickle, clearly there is some underlying problem that isn’t getting addressed. Or maybe you two just aren’t a great match. No shame, but it’s better to realize that instead of trying to make a frustrating relationship work. For the most part, your relationship should be steady and peaceful. Of course you’re going to fight. That’s natural when you’re in a relationship. Sometimes the other person is going to drive you absolutely insane. But you shouldn’t be storming out of his apartment every other week and changing your Facebook status as soon as you get home. You should both be willing to work through problems, and the level of drama should be relatively low. There’s enough stress when you’re an adult, you don’t need your love life adding to that. Click here to read the rest

My latest for The College Crush is also up! It’s called “Significant Others, Holiday Presents and the Dangers of Being Subtle”. Here’s a preview of that:

Thanksgiving is officially over and that means Mariah Carey singing “All I Want For Christmas Is You”, red Starbucks cups, and general cheer are in full effect. It also means that high expectations are here again. When can you expect your significant other to pick up on your second-too-long glance in the store window at that gorgeous necklace? When can you truly allow yourself to believe that if you spend enough time thinking about a romantic evening ice skating and seeing The Nutcracker then he’ll just make it happen and buy some tickets? Why only during the holiday season, of course. Well, ladies, Santa Lauren is here with a few friendly pointers. If you really mean it when you say, “any gift he picks will be great” then go ahead and keep trying to communicate mentally. Keep hoping he’ll pick up on eye twitches and subtle head nods. But if you have something in mind, something that you’ve been dreaming about, don’t wait for him to figure out what you want. You don’t need to say, “Buy me this.”  It can be more subtle. But you can’t just hope he just figures it out and then think about how unromantic he is when he gets you something practical yet very unsexy instead. Click here to read the rest

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