Teen Mom 2: Back and Better Than Ever

If you try to call me on Tuesday nights at 10 p.m. I will not answer. No, I will not. I will also know that we’re not that close, because clearly you don’t realize that I’m watching Teen Mom 2. Also, I will know that you have no life if you’re not watching it too and then I will feel sad for you. This is my world. 

This season of TM2 has been pretty great so far. I’ll be honest, I kind of wish I could take Leah, Maci, Chelsea and Farrah and combine them into one super, all-star season. Those are my favorite of the Teen Moms. I find Amber to be insufferable. Jenelle is even worse. Caitlynn is okay, so I guess she can join the all-star team. She’s a little too normal though. No crazy baby daddy. Although she does have the kooky mom, so that counts. Yeah, okay I guess Caitlynn’s in. Kailyn’s story is just sad. I feel bad for her. Her situation is terrible. She makes the best of it and has a great attitude, and I have a lot of respect for her. But it seems like people in her life just screw her over and it’s depressing. When I’m in a good mood and I watch her story I just want to cry, so she probably wouldn’t make my all-star team. Why have to think about real issues like poverty and family struggles when you can just laugh at Farrah and her weird manner of speaking and the fact that she bought a dog and then made it wear diapers and then just gave it to the neighbor when she got bored? Yeah, that sounds better…

Anyway, let’s do a brief summary of where this season has left us thus far:

Leah: I like this season because it’s showing happier times aka when Leah and Corey were still married. I know they got married in Coonskin Park. I know he wore a camo vest at their wedding. I know Leah constantly talks about Ali’s problems with her “ah” (eye), but I just LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Why can’t they be together!? Apparently we shall find out, but it appears as though Leah cheated. Damn. Also, Leah looks so much better when she’s with Corey. Not that looks are everything, I’m just saying. With her new boyfriend, Jeremy, she has some seriously ’90’s chunky highlights and unfortunate bangs. When she was with Corey she looked like this:

Perfect beauty queen hair. I’m jealous. I appreciate good hair. Anyway, in the season thus far Leah has gotten a job as a dental assistant. At first Corey wasn’t supportive/excited and Leah was upset about it, but he seems to be slowly warming up to the idea. She keeps emphasizing the extra money aspect, which is true. You’d think he’d be happy just because she was happy, but I forget that they’re 19ish and probably  a little immature.

Leah and Corey are still struggling to figure out exactly what’s wrong with Ali. The doctor said those adorable pink glasses have corrected some of her problems with her “ahs” (eyes), but he wants to do another MRI to see if the issue is also in her brain. He also said the nerves in her eye are too small which is an issue. Leah is upset because she doesn’t want her baby to be sedated again for the MRI. She’s also upset because they’re not sure if Ali has brain damage or is just slow to develop. I feel bad for them. Leah and Corey seem like really good parents. I can’t imagine handling twins at that age, especially when one of the babies has health problems. Yikes. I also don’t understand why they still don’t know exactly what’s wrong with Ali. Come on now, doctors. Figure it out. Corey’s stepmom is super helpful and tells Leah that she read online that the disease Ali has can lead to blindness. Nice going, lady. Hopefully this season will give us some answers about that little cutie.

Chelsea: Oh, Chelsea. Somehow she is still struggling to get her GED. This is probably because she’s also still wasting her time doing strange things to her hair and dating Creepmaster Flex Adam. Yep, they end up getting back together after he sends her a Facebook message and sweeps her off her feet. Le sigh. Sidenote: I know that in real life she’s moved on to a new guy (I’m a great Twitter stalker) which makes me happy. Adam is so creepy and rude and awful. I’m sick of him. And clearly so is Randilicious, as Chelsea creepily calls her dad. So far this season Chelsea re-tears her ACL (which apparently she had surgery on at some point) and needs surgery again. She’s all concerned about whether Adam will be there for her during the surgery. The preview of the next episode shows them having a screaming match while Chelsea is in the hospital bed so….yeah….Chelsea is one of my favorites, so I want her to get rid of Adam and just take Aubree, graduate high school, and be an independent woman like Beyonce. These are my wishes.

Kailyn: Kailyn and babydaddy Jo have made serious progress this season. Whereas they had to call the police on each other last season, they’re now able to get along and co-parent Isaac in a civilized way. I’m happy for her about that. But Kailyn is living with her mom and her mom’s boyfriend and it’s a bad situation. She’s clearly not wanted. She’s working two jobs and going to school full-time and one day comes home to find a nasty note about keeping her room clean. Mom’s boyfriend wrote it. Kailyn gets really upset and tells her friend that her mom always puts the Boyfriend Du Jour over her and that she’s doing her best and it’s not enough for them. She wants to move out, but at this point finances are not allowing it. She also tells her boyfriend Jordan that she doesn’t want to go on welfare because it’s embarrassing and (from what I understood) she doesn’t want to be associated with people who abuse the system. I respect her for that. On the other hand, I think she could really benefit from welfare and being out on her own. Luckily she finds a government program that helps pay for your rent and expenses while you work/go to school so you can save money. It’s different from welfare, but it will still help her move out on her own and make ends meet. I think that’s a huge move for Kailyn and Isaac. All good things. I also really like her boyfriend Jordan, but the previews for future episodes make it seem like they might split because of cheating. Come on, ladies. Stop cheating.

Jenelle: Ugh. Hate Jenelle. Hate her voice. Hate her mom’s voice. I think she has no sense of right and wrong and I think she has no soul.Miserable. She has this cute kid and she could not care less about him. Anyway, Jenelle gets kicked out of her house after bailing Kiefer  (Kee-fah, if you’re her mom) out of jail so they’re living in her car and crashing at friends’ places. They’re out with two friends one night when she and Kiefer get into a knock down, drag out fight. He’s swigging from a bottle of vodka and she’s pissed because she hates drinking. She tells him to stop. I found this weird because she got arrested for marijuana possession so clearly she’s not Miss Law-Abiding Citizen. After he refuses to stop drinking she starts trying to hit him. He shoves her. It’s ridiculous and hard to watch. They have to play the domestic violence PSA that they play basically every time Amber is on screen because she does not know how to speak without throwing punches. That’s the main summary of Jenelle’s life. On the one hand, I feel bad that she’s in a crappy place. On the other hand, her mom gave her so many chances and tried to help her in so many different ways. Why couldn’t she just get it together, finish college, and spend some time with her baby? Jeez.

Are you guys watching this season? What do you think so far? Favorite or least favorite moments? Who’s your favorite Teen Mom? Do you like Teen Mom or Teen Mom 2 better? So many questions!

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