In Defense of Kris Humphries

I never thought I’d be saying this, but I actually feel sorry for Kris Humphries. He keeps getting booed at his Nets games and he even had a bunch of flour thrown in his face.  Then there’s the fact that he’s going through a divorce. No matter how short the marriage was, that’s still upsetting. Look, I will be the first to admit that I was not always on Team Hump. But I’ll also admit that many of the problems I originally saw with him were probably just the show’s producers telling him to act like an immature frat boy. The real, true problems I saw with the relationship were almost completely and entirely on Kim’s end (aka she was self-absorbed and unwilling to compromise, among other things). When I was watching the last season of Kardashians (and the “Fairytale Wedding Special”) I really  did think Kris was obnoxious. He was immature and constantly making fun of Kim and her family. He was just too rough for my taste. I didn’t like him. But I’ve watched the newest season of Kourtney and Kim Take New York (I only watch it on my own time so I’m not a slave to the Kardashians anymore) and I’m realizing that he’s actually probably a good guy who loved Kim and just didn’t realize what a terrible match they were. So maybe he’s a little stupid when it comes to relationships. No need for all the hate, people.

Kris is definitely immature. But when you think about it, he’s 26 years old. He’s still a young guy. When my boyfriend and his friends get together they’re not exactly discussing politics and world affairs. They’re smart guys, definitely, but they’re a bunch of guys hanging out with their friends. They like to goof around and make jokes and have fun. It’s what guys do. And that’s how Kris was with Scott and Rob. But when Kris would do this, Kim would talk about how he was acting like a kid. Here’s the thing: Kim is 31 years old. She’s not exactly an old woman, but 26 to 31 is a big age difference. She’s also at a different place in her life and her career. She’s all about self-promotion and branding. Therefore she’s very self-aware. Being goofy and ridiculous is probably not her favorite thing. Even her sisters talk about how she’s the serious one. Kris plays a sport for a living. He has to work on keeping his body in great shape, but he hangs out with a bunch of young guys all day. He probably doesn’t have to be as self-aware or self-focused (or mature) as someone who has every word that comes out of her mouth scrutinized in the public eye. Therefore, Kim and Kris’s idea of acceptable behavior is different.

I really believe that Kris just wanted to marry Kim, move to Minnesota, play basketball, and have a big family. It was clear from the start that he was not caught up in the glitz and glam of Hollywood like she was. When they were in Bora Bora he kept making comments about how he liked her better without makeup. She threw a fit because their hotel room had too many flowers. Seriously. Kris was appalled and talked to her about how people spent a lot of time making the room look nice for her and she should enjoy it. On that same trip, he tossed her in the ocean and she thought she lost a $60,000 diamond earring. She flipped out. He felt bad, but couldn’t understand why she’d wear an earring like that on a vacation. These are all great examples of how different their life views are. At the root of it, he’s a down-home Minnesota boy who happens to be a pro athlete. She’s an L.A. girl who loves being a public figure and views business, looking good, and her public image as her top priorities.

In this latest season of KKTNY, within the first few weeks of their marriage Kris and Kim are living apart because Kris wants to be in Minnesota and Kim wants to be in New York. Kris says he trains better in Minnesota and needs to get in shape for the upcoming basketball season. Kim wants to focus on business in New York. Instead of trying to find a way to accommodate both of their needs, they just agree to live separately. Odd. But before this long distance relationship begins, Kim wants a big “welcome to New York” party. Kris goes, but tries to duck out as soon as possible. Again, different lifestyles and different likes and dislikes. Kim likes the party scene and being the center of attention. Kris is more low-key and prefers to fly under the radar. They’re both to blame for not realizing that they’re completely wrong for each other, but I can’t help but think that Kim thought a husband and a lavish wedding would be good for her branding and Kris just fit the part and was popped into the equation.

There’s one quote from Kris that really sticks out in my head. It’s from the latest season of KKTNY. They’re arguing about where they’ll raise their kids. Kim says they can spend summers in Minnesota but she won’t move there. Kris says, “Baby, by the time our kids are in school everyone will have forgotten about you.”

To me, this says a lot. From what I can tell, Kim’s career and public image mean everything to her. They define such a huge chunk of her life. On the other hand, Kris puts his values in living in Minnesota and raising a family and keeping things simple while still excelling at basketball. You can take whichever side you want, but at the end of the day the main problem is that they just were too different to work. Opposites do attract, but you need to have some sort of shared values.

The fact that on so many different occasions Kris talks to Kim about moving to Minnesota and starting a family makes me think that he truly believed that this was an option. He clearly couldn’t see the reality of the situation and the relationship. He didn’t realize that Kim’s values and priorities would not allow this to happen. I do think he really loved her, and maybe he thought things would change when they actually became husband and wife. I feel bad for him because of that. He’s also a little dumb for not realizing what was actually going on sooner. Bottom line is this: I’m on Team Hump in this debate. So stop booing him and stop throwing flour in his face. Let’s find him a nice, down-to-earth girl.

Are you on Team Hump or Team Kim? What’s your take on the Kim/Kris situation? 

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