True Love and What to Do When You Graduate

If you’re looking for some entertainment, may I suggest checking out the column I wrote this week for The College Crush entitled “Real Love is Not a Greeting Card. And That’s Okay.” Here’s the first part of the piece if you want to try before you buy…er…read:

As I was writing a Valentine’s Day-themed post for my blog, I was scanning the Internet looking for some good  love quotes. I found a lot of this: “Come live in my heart and pay no rent.” It was good, metaphoric and all, but it wasn’t what I was looking for. Then I found this from Dr. Joyce Brothers, “The best proof of love is trust.” I definitely agree with that one. But I was looking for something else. Then I found this from one of Jennifer Weiner’s books, “There’s all kinds of love in the world, and not all of it looks like the stuff in greeting cards.”

Yes. That quote jumped out at me and I’ve been thinking about it a lot over the past few days. To me this says a few different things, all of which are importat to remember.

1.) A relationship is not always cute and Hallmark-worthy: Things get messy. You fight and get annoyed with the other person and you have to work through issues. You spend a long time having discussions about your feelings. It’s not all full of Notebook-esque makeouts in the rain complete with cute accents and lady-like dresses. Nope. Real, 3-D, 21st century love is a lot of work. But it’s also full of times when you’re traveling to fun places together or giving the other person advice or just making each other laugh or picking up a new hobby. The point is that while it’s not all pretty little moments, the hard work is worth it. Click here to read the rest. 

I was also asked to write a guest post for a site called JusCollege. Here’s the first part of that post:

In many ways, college is like a little paradise. If your geology lecture is boring you can theoretically just skip it and lie in bed with few consequences. There’s always someone to hang out with and something to do. You can use your student ID card like Monopoly money (until the bill comes). Drinking on a Tuesday is also acceptable. Yes, I would have been quite content with staying in college forever. Therefore, you can imagine that I experienced some serious culture shock when I graduated. Now I’m living in a small city and am the youngest person at my office. There are consequences if I just don’t feel like getting out of bed to go to a meeting. My debit card is definitely not like Monopoly money, and I’m usually too tired to drink after I get home from work. My situation is about as different from college as can be. For a while I tried to pretend that I was just doing a very lengthy internship and would one day return to my beloved Syracuse University. The fact that I’m still working in Syracuse didn’t help squash this “I’ll go back one day” illusion. After the third consecutive weekend of hanging out at my favorite on-campus bar, I realized that it was time to move on and form a post-college identity for myself. Once I did that, I was able to appreciate my life as an undergrad, but also feel good about my life after college. Here are a few tips to make this happen:

1. Denial is not a river in Egypt:
For the first few months after graduation, I didn’t really believe that school was over. I had spent literally my entire life in school. There was always a new year to look forward to. How could it possibly be done? Because of this denial, I didn’t try to build myself a new identity. A little bit of denial is common. Be patient. Give yourself time to adjust to this new era. That means it’s okay to feel disoriented, confused, and maybe a little sad. Once you get past the “But… what do you mean I’m not going back?” phase, force yourself to build a new life.
2. Don’t friend discriminate:

In post-college life many people make friends at work, but most of my co-workers are older than I am. Because of this, I automatically assumed that I had no shot at making friends. What I didn’t realize was that although my co-workers are older than me, they’re also fun. Once I realized this I was able to build friendships. This makes me feel more established at my job. No one wants to spend all day at the office just working quietly and then heading home. In college most of your friends were around your age. In post-college life? Not necessarily the case. Don’t age-discriminate. Instead focus on making friends who have similar hobbies, interests, jobs, lifestyles, and personalities.
3. Get a Life:

Post-college life is a great time to discover a hobby, or to revisit you used to love. If you loved playing soccer in college, join an adult soccer or kickball league. Many cities have them. If you used to sing in high school, join a community theatre group or take a few voice lessons just for fun. You can also find something new that you never know you liked. Try a yoga, hiking or a cooking class. I started taking guitar lessons. I’ll probably never get a record contract, but it’s something creative that I enjoy. Having a hobby adds a much-needed extra dimension outside of your work life. Click here to read the rest. 
If you want more when you’re done with all that, watch this video. It’s a little girl giving her impressions of logos to her ad exec dad. You may have seen it already, but if not then it’s a must-watch. So freakin’ cute. My favorite part is when she sees the Greyhound, Jaguar, and Puma logos and says “That’s a cheetah…that’s a cheetah…that’s a cheetah…” And I also love when she describes the Xbox logo as “the thing that controls the TV at Ryan’s house.” Precious.
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