Why I Hate Decision-Making aka Making a Choice and Owning It

Yesterday I was being all pensive and whatnot, and I was thinking about making big decisions and changes in your life. There’s something so exciting yet so SO scary about knowing a change is on the way. Even a small change is enough to disrupt the natural order of things and cause anxiety. But at the same time, sometimes change is all you need to kickstart everything and put the excitement back into your world.

I’ve realized that my natural decision-making instinct goes something like this: Think about the decision, ask everyone else what I should do, think a little

via http://samirabid.com/

bit about what I actually want, freak out about what everyone will think, come to a decision, stress about whether said decision was the right one. It’s great to consult the important people in your life when you’re making a choice, especially if your actions could impact them (ex: you’re moving away from family or switching apartments thus leaving your friend without a roommate). But too many opinions can make things overwhelming and end up doing more harm than good. Getting too many opinions can also affect your decision-making process. So lately I’ve been trying to think about what I would do if I physically couldn’t ask anyone else’s opinion. What choices would I make if the only opinion I could take into consideration was my own? It sounds so basic, but I’ve realized that literally for every major decision in my life I’ve consulted at least one other person. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn’t help to build independence and self-confidence.

I really value my parents’ opinion and my friends’ opinion and my boyfriend’s opinion. But I need to sleep easy knowing that I’m capable of making a good, solid decision based on my own instincts and logic. Deep down I know that I can trust my own choices, but I need to be more self-reliant and I need to get more used to making a choice without calling/texting twelve people. I’m almost 24. Time to be more confident in myself. So that’s my new goal. I saw this on my good friends at The College Crush’s Pinterest and it seems completely appropriate for a blog post such as this one. Take a look:

How do you make big decisions in your life? Are you a little too dependent on other people’s thoughts like I am? Or are you better at making a choice and sticking by it? Let me know!

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  1. I’ve noticed the same thing when I’m texting a guy I’m interested in. I’m so worried that I’ll say the wrong thing that every few texts I’ll ask a friend or two what I should say back. About six months ago I realized that I should probably really figure out what to say on my own and act as if my friends weren’t there to help. After all, it’ll just end up being a text that genuinely came from me, instead of one of my friends.

  2. Nicholas Peters says:

    I hate making decisions because I always feel like the most important decisions I cannot make. I am not exactly referring to work, but I totally feel like without knowing who I really am I cannot make the right choices and stick with them. I hate making decisions because they are always garbage decisions.

  3. Beth B says:

    Love this post. Autonomy is so scary at first, but it results is much less fear in the end because it helps drop the feedback loop of self doubt and anxiety about your own decision making that, honestly, some people spend their whole life in. You are so lucky to pick up on this at 24. You are bright and introspective! Knowing who you are and making choices from that knowledge is a lifelong process–but the more we make authentic choices, the more skilled we become at making authentic choices.

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