I Gotta Ask, What is Up With All These Weird Diets?

by ljmlevine on June 27, 2012

It seems like everyone and their mother is on a juice cleanse or some other strange diet lately. I get hangry (read: anger due to hunger) pretty quickly, so I don’t think drinking only juice for three days straight would work for me. Then I read this article on The Gloss about how a girl wants to try a WATER FAST for three days. I would literally end a life.

I’m not buying what these strange cleanses and diets and fasts are selling. I get that they’re supposed to cleanse your system of toxins and whatnot, but I know myself. I’d cleanse the toxins and then be so effing hungry that I’d get the toxins right back as I went to McDonald’s or something. For girls who do them for weight loss it makes even less sense. Because as soon as you stop drinking only green juice and go back to eating in a sustainable way, you gain the weight back. Right? I mean like how else does it work?

When I had surgery I lost five pounds because I wasn’t eating. I was too tired and on happy pills and I just had no appetite. I won’t lie, I was kind of pumped. I’m happy with my weight now, but five pounds gone with no effort wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. But as soon as I started eating things again it slowly came back. Actually, that’s a lie. Two of the pounds came back. So, in total I lost three pounds. Small victories. But you get the point. These types of things don’t work because you’re not making lifestyle changes. You’re just doing something drastic and temporary. Like having your body sliced into or only drinking water for three days. Then when you stop, the weight comes back. I’m not a doctor, but that’s my philosophy.

Okay, I have a confession. I saw this diet on Pinterest, and I was semi-intrigued. When Chris came home I said, “Sooo I think I’m going to try a weird diet for a week.” The reason this diet appealed to me was because it involved actually food. I saw fruit and veggies and even beef. Those are real foods that I like to eat.

Chris puts up with my shenanigans, so he didn’t react to my diet news at first. He just smiled and slowly said, “Okay. What’s the diet?” He clearly had no idea what to expect. As I re-read my new plan and had to tell another person that I’d have to eat only fruits for a day, then only vegetables, then a baked potato for breakfast, I realized how insane this diet was.

Chris interrupted my thoughts with this sentiment, “Wait…is this a joke? Like, are they trying to trick people into believing this is real so they just do this ridiculous diet? There’s no way this is real. Someone is playing a joke here.”

I don’t think it was a joke, but I realized that this diet was unreasonable. That’s what got me thinking about cleanses and crash diets and how crazy it all is.  Eat healthy foods. Control your portions. Stop hitting snooze and go to the gym. No need to eat only fruits for an entire day. Or a baked potato for breakfast. So no, I will not be participating in such a diet.

Have you tried a cleanse, fast, or other diet? How did it work? Worth the general feelings of hanger? Also, does anyone want to start a band called Hangry?

Leave a Comment

 

Previous post:

Next post: