For Those Times When You Feel Like You're Stuck in a Rut…

Lately I’ve been trying to shake this feeling of being “stuck.” I don’t know why. I’m a free person. I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I have a college degree. How could I feel stuck anywhere? But I’d been feeling that way. I think part of it is because I’m always very money conscious. I don’t have much of it and it gives me anxiety sometimes. I need to know that I’ll have a way to support myself and pay my rent. But I’m slowly realizing that the only reason I’m stuck is because I’m making myself feel that way. Yeah, it’s easy and it’s comfortable to keep doing what you’ve been doing for the last year or two years or five years. But no one is forcing you to do that. You can make a change at any time. Being stuck is a complete illusion. And once you realize that you immediately start to feel more free.

Of course, it’s a lot easier to make a life change when you’re not worried about your financial situation. But changes are possible no matter how much money you have saved up. And even if your savings account is a little scary, you have to trust that you’ll be able to find a way to make money. You can market your skills. You can pick up a job at Starbucks. This may not be what you had in mind as you crossed the stage to get your college diploma, but it’s okay. You have to think in non-traditional ways. Trust that you’re smart enough to find a way to support yourself.

The other thing that sometimes makes change feel impossible is caring too much about other people’s opinions. It’s so easy to get caught up in how your friends, family, roommates, co-workers, etc. will view your decisions. What will they think about your job? What will they think about where you’re living? This fear can make it seem a lot easier to just keep doing what you’ve been doing. But past a point you have to remember this:

My friend sent this to me and I feel like I need to get it tattooed on my forehead or something. The main point of life is to find something that makes you happy. Okay, there are other points too, but that’s one of them. If you spend your whole life trying to please everyone else, you’re going to be tired, overwhelmed, and probably kind of mad. Unless you’re running a meth lab or working the pole, it’s probably safe to say that it’s okay to just do what feels right for you even if someone else doesn’t understand where you’re coming from.

So once you put the money fears and the judgement fears aside, it’s a lot easier to focus more on what works for you and what will make you feel satisfied. The other thing is this: change is hard. It’s scary. If no one’s making you do it, then it’s a lot easier to just let yourself keep going the way you’ve been going. It’s scary to shake things up. But doing the same thing over and over eventually makes you boring and kind of soft on the inside. Change keeps you on your toes. It’s a necessary evil.

Do you ever feel like you’re stuck? How do you shake that feeling? What do you think is causing it?

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  1. Hello Lauren,

    I came across your blog whilst Googling “vacation with boyfriend’s family.” I know this post is almost a month old but I really enjoyed it. I too have experienced this so called feeling of being “stuck” and usually blame it on my financial woes. The unknown is indeed scary and all I ever did was make myself worry more by dwelling on the debts and never on the idea that I will, in fact, get out one day if I just kept at it.

    Thanks for your post! And advice you posted about vacationing with the boyfriend’s family. I hope I survive and I hope all is well with you. I always like meeting a fellow blogger.
    – Sarah

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