Diary of a True English Nerd: I Couldn't Read 50 Shades of Grey

The phenomenon that is 50 Shades of Grey is sweeping the nation, and like any good bandwagoner I was ready to jump on board. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. If this book was good enough for the likes of Bethenny Frankel and the Victoria’s Secret Angels, then it was good enough for me. I wanted to see what was making people blush and hide their books in public. I wanted to read this revolutionary book.

Yes, for a while I resisted. I didn’t need that smut. I was enjoying the humorous likes of Augusten Burroughs. But eventually I caved. The chatter and hype was overwhelming. I downloaded the book on my Kindle. I settled in, all ready to be ushered into the secret club. I was ready to find out what “Laters, baby” actually means. Then the reading began and the party was over. I read twenty pages., maybe a little more. I hated it. Couldn’t stand it. The book hasn’t been touched since.

The writing was flowery and ridiculous. The characters were absurd. Unrelatable, uninteresting. Just terrible. Everything about the writing and the plot and the characters and the whole thing was just unbelievable and terrible. I didn’t even get to the juicy stuff. I couldn’t get past the ridiculosity of the whole thing. I felt no attachment to this overly-naive Anastasia Steele and this overly arrogant and jerk-y Christian Grey. I didn’t care about their intimate moments. I felt no sympathy or attachment to either character. I had no interest in the plot. I was done.

This is how you know you’re a true English nerd. When plot and character development outweighs sexy times.

As I continue to hear more about this book, and as the hype over a possible movie swells, I think maybe I need to try again. But for now I’m okay reading some Nora Ephron and calling it a day.

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  1. Ha ha this is exactly my attitude towards Fifty Shades. I couldn’t even get past the first chapter, because the writing was just so atrocious. I’m happy for the author to be making money, but quite honestly, it’s a horrific example of literature. If it wasn’t so damn cheesy and predictable, I might be able to get into it…but no.


  1. […] there was Fifty Shades of Grey. If you read this post, you know my feelings. Even so, I like that the book got people back on the reading bandwagon. Then […]

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