Find the New Mr. Right

I’ve been thinking a lot about marriages and relationships lately. More specifically, what makes a marriage last and what makes a good relationship. My parents have been married for more than thirty years, so I rely pretty heavily on my mom for relationship advice. Yesterday she explained that she believes a relationship should be 85% happy. The other 15% includes things the other person does that annoy you but you accept, and things that you’re constantly working on as a couple. I think this is a great way to look at it. If you constantly wait for someone who is 100% perfect, you’ll be waiting a long time and will probably end up with a lot of cats. On the other hand, if you’re constantly making excuses for a person who doesn’t treat you well, or who doesn’t appreciate you, then you’ll end up with a life full of regrets. Good thinking, Mom.

While I was thinking about this subject, I read this great article on Forbes.com. The author talks about a “new kind” of Mr. Right. The article describes this Mr. Right as doing/being the following:

–       makes plans in advance.

–       supports your career and ambitions.

–       is proud of you when you achieve professionally.

–       doesn’t expect to be waited on but does expect to help.

–       loves children.

–       enjoys doing things for you just as you do for him.

–       knows who your friends are and makes an effort with them.

–       spends time with male friends who treat women respectfully.

–       doesn’t feel competitive with you. Your wins are his too.

I think these are really important traits. I’d also add in a part about loyalty and ambition. You have to be able to trust your partner, and there’s nothing more attractive than being with a person who knows what he/she wants out of life and is willing to work for it. The author also explains that the emphasis should be less on looks and money, because these things fade. And it’s so true. Swagger is fun and attractive, but it’s not as cute when you’re fifty and still waiting for him to get a real job.

Over the past few days, I’ve realized that passion is something I really value in a partner. I’m a passionate person. I get excited about my work and excited about my hobbies. Actually I get excited about everything, even small things. This also means that I can get dramatic easily, I’ll admit. But it means that I always want to push myself to accomplish that next goal. It’s a quality I like about myself and that I value in other people.

Everyone’s different though. Your important trait might be patience. You might want someone who doesn’t get mad easily, and who works around your busy schedule. Maybe you’re a very patient person and want someone who is also able to give you that. We all have our thing that matters to us, and it’s important to find that when you’re evaluating a relationship or what you’d want in a relationship.

Do you agree with my mom’s 85% rule? What qualities do you think your Mr. Right should have?

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