Why Post-College Life is Not a Sitcom

Lately I’ve been thinking about relocating. More specifically, I’ve been thinking about how this is something I need to do sooner rather than later. I’ve lived in this city for my entire life, except for the semester I spent abroad in London and the summer I spent doing an internship outside of New York City. For some people, this is fine. Maybe even something desirable. For me, I literally feel like the city is closing in on me. As I get more “save the dates” in the mail and I realize that I’m about to be a quarter of a century old, I realize that I need to stop waiting and start doing. Somehow the time went from “Oh, I just graduated college. I’m young and silly” to “Well, what are you waiting for? Now or never!”

I kind of feel as if  I haven’t lived up to my true potential because I stayed in my hometown after graduation. I know that’s not true, and it’s bad to say, but it’s how I feel. If you live in your hometown too maybe you can weigh in on this. There’s something about running into your old gym teacher at the grocery store that just makes you think, “Hmmm….didn’t I work really hard in college for something more than reliving old high school memories?” Not that there’s anything wrong with running into familiar faces. Not at all. But the point is that I think I’m capable of reaching for something more. Seeing new places. Conquering new territory. I don’t want to be the friend that everyone knows they can conveniently see when they come home anymore. I want to be a “I have to plan to see that person” friend. I want to be the friend with the cool apartment in the desirable city.  But now the question becomes what desirable city.. I’m in a unique situation because I’m in a job where I can work from home aka anywhere, so I truly could move anywhere (affordable). In a way, it’s amazing and freeing, yet in a way it’s almost paralyzing.

When I was a kid, I always had this idea that my life would be like a sitcom and my friends and I would all live in the same apartment building in the same city and we’d date the same group of friends and get married and raise our kids together. Obviously I don’t have those kind of expectations, but there’s a little part of me that thinks it’d be nice to go somewhere where I know people. I’m all about meeting new people, but in a way that process is easier when you have a base group to start. But is it realistic to follow your friends around? Probably not. What if you move to a new city and then they get a new job and go somewhere else?

Friends are extremely important to me and I value getting to see them a lot, but I’m realizing that this next phase of life is also about focusing on your career and building your independent post-college life. I guess that’s why you may drift from friends from college in the years after you graduate. You’re spread to different cities and you’re building new lives there. You Skype and text and call, but you can’t choose your location based on your college roommates. It’s just not realistic. Though it’d be fun.

I think the next year or so will push all of us recent grads into a new phase. More established, less “WTF am I doing with myself right now.”

If you’re thinking about moving, how do you choose a new city? Job availability? The amount of love you have for the city? What do you think about trying to move to a place where your friends live? Yay or nay?

 

 

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  1. […] much of the past year, I’ve been talking about the quarter-life crises that I regularly experience. Whether it’s determining whether to move (or when) or how […]

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