How Do You Listen To Your Heart When Your Heart Is Confused?

How many times over the course of your life have you been told to “listen to your heart” when you’re trying to make a decision or are unsure about something? It’s such a common piece of advice that people give.

“Just listen to your heart. It’ll tell you what you truly want!”

“But what does your HEART want? That’s what matters.”

Okay, let’s be honest. Sometimes your heart, your inner voice, whatever you want to call it, seems to be just as confused as the rest of you.

Lately I’ve been trying to figure out my next moves (both literally and figuratively) in life, and it seems that I keep reading and hearing about how I should just listen to my heart. That’s all well and good…except my heart seems to be just as confused as the rest of me.

I’m a pretty practical person and love to make lists full of pros and cons regarding any given situation, so I probably am not helping my heart/inner voice’s clarity by allowing my mind to analyze everything to death. But even so, sometimes you just don’t know what you want even when you really try to listen to yourself. So what do you do in those situations? Well, I’m certainly no expert since I’m still trying to turn up the volume on that elusive inner voice, but here are a few things I’ve learned about figuring out how to identify what you want out of life:

1.) Go easy on yourself: When you’re entering into any situation that requires decision-making, usually you’re also entering into a period of change. Change is never easy on any level. Because of this, it’s important to give yourself a break and let yourself take the time necessary to adjust to these changes. Your mind needs time to process new situations and ideas, which is why it can  be hard to figure out how you want to handle new circumstances.

2.) Don’t jump into anything drastic yet: If there’s not a blatantly obvious answer to your dilemma, if there’s no figurative neon sign flashing in front of your face with the answer, then it’s probably best to take some time to make a decision. It’s okay to take small steps, but you may want to wait to make bigger decisions until you feel more certain about exactly what you want and need.

3.) Take time for yourself, but rely on friends and family: It’s important to spend plenty of time really getting in tune with yourself and thinking about what you need. While you do this, it’s okay to take time to be selfish. How can you figure out the best choice if you haven’t really sorted through the thoughts floating around in your mind? You can do this by writing in a journal or just spending some time thinking. But while you’re getting yourself sorted out, don’t completely shut yourself off from friends and family. No man/woman is an island, remember that.

 4.) Be patient: It’s easy to feel like time is flying by and soon you’ll be old and decrepit, but this is simply not the case. When you’re working on making life changes, or thinking about big decisions, it’s important to take enough time to think things over. There’s no rush. It’s especially important not to pressure yourself into quickly making a choice because this is how you end up doing something you may later regret. Take the necessary amount of time to make sure your choices are ones you can really feel good about.

How do you get in tune with your “inner voice”? What do you do when you’re not exactly sure what you want?

Also! I’m so excited to be teaming up with Grace from Romance Never Dies. If you haven’t checked out this site, you will want to. It’s full of thoughts and tips about dating, love, and relationships. She’s also really beyond smart. I’ll be writing for the site monthly, and this is my first post if you want to check it out. It’s about why you shouldn’t create timelines in your head when it comes to marriage and kiddos. Let me know what you think!

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  1. Amanda Hessling says:

    Thanks for this. I am exactly there… trying to decide between schools to (re)attend and my inner voice is torn (or so it seems). This advice was exactly what I felt would help but, of course, the critical mind chimes in with “You’re being awfully lazy… Seriously figure it out already you bum!… Wow! You’re really in a rut.” <3

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