Relationship Advice From the Dalai Lama….No, Seriously.

I’m quick to complain about my hometown. The place where I grew up and went to college and currently live is not as exciting as, say, Chicago or New York City or Boston. We have a big mall and pretty places to go apple picking and we have good Italian food, but that’s about it. But I must say, my town got pretty awesome a few days ago when the Dalai Lama and dozens of famous musicians came to town as part of the One World concert. The concert was a celebration of peace and it was pretty amazing. In one night I heard a speech from the Dalai Lama and Martin Luther King III and saw Dave Matthews, Nelly Furtado, Cindy Lauper, Natasha Bedingfield, Philip Phillips, and others perform. Basically a star-studded lineup.

The Dalai Lama was amazing. He offered some insightful thoughts and also had the cutest laugh. Whenever he didn’t know a word, he would turn to his assistant/translator for help. If the word turned out to be a lengthy phrase, the adviser would say it and then

The Dalai Lama speaking. Not the best picture, but still cool to see the setup. The place was PACKED

the Dalai Lama would simply say, “like that” and then giggle.

His speech offered so many things to think about, but there were a few points that really stuck with me that I wanted to bring up.

Anxiety is both a physical and a mental thing: First, he brought up how powerful a person’s own thoughts and mental state are. He talked a lot about the importance of keeping a peaceful mental state. He explained that negative emotions often manifest themselves in a physical way, and that people who live the longest and stay the healthiest are the ones who can minimize worry and keep a good attitude. Personally, I give this statement an “amen.” A few months ago, I basically broke myself. I was super stressed and stayed up all night worrying, and eventually this worry manifested itself in the form of a trip to the E.R. because my doctor thought I needed my gall bladder removed. Turns out I had just given myself an ulcer and some acid reflux. Not quite as severe, but still an issue. As they were springing me from hospital prison, the doctor advised me to “make a lifestyle change.” AKA stop worrying so much. That was the first time that I had really seen that worrying does have a physical impact on your body. Am I still stressed? Definitely. But I’ve tried to keep that in check in hopes of preserving my sanity and my body.

Your childhood is never really over: He also talked a lot about how your childhood experiences shape you. He explained that a person who doesn’t get enough affection in childhood will grow up always craving this affection. Because of this lack of love, they’ll always carry around insecurities and an inability to love completely and fully when they reach adulthood. They may not even be aware of these issues, but they’re there. This explains a lot of violence and complicated relationships that exist in the world today. If you’ve ever tried to have a relationship with someone who just won’t let you in no matter how hard you try, this may be the cause of the issue.

Some good points from the Dalai Lama. I felt lucky to have gotten the chance to see him.

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Comments

  1. I read this on my phone right after I turned in my branding project for a class – it was SO at the right time, I was freaking out and my stomach was a knotty mess. I love your blog, you remind me a lot of myself and I am excited to see what you will be up to in the future!

    • Hi Mariko, Thanks so much for the nice comment! I really appreciate it. I’m glad the post helped and I hope the project turned out well. Thanks again!
      Lauren

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