A Different Perspective on Being The Reliable Friend

Happy Halloween, my little goblins and ghouls! Hope you all had an enjoyable Halloweekend and, most importantly, I hope that you are safe and dry, wherever you are. I know that many of my friends are still feeling the effects of Hurricane Sandy. If you’re in the same situation, I’m sending positive thoughts your way and I hope you’re able to rebuild and get back on track quickly.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the idea of being “that person” for everyone. You know what I mean. You’re the one they call when they need a ride from the airport, you’re also the one they call when their boyfriend is being an idiot, and you’re the same person they text for advice about a work dilemma. Everyone goes through periods where they feel like they’ve become the person that everyone depends on. While this is flattering, it can also get emotionally and physically exhausting. Being the trustworthy friend is also difficult when you’re trying to work through your own complex situations.

If you’re feeling the burden of being “the reliable one,” you may get some use out of this quote I just found. Obviously this was a Pinterest discovery, and it really made me shift my perspective on this type of situation. It goes a little like this:

Now I don’t know if I agree about the “only remember you when they need you” part. True friends need you around in good times and in bad times, but I think the thought is a good one. It’s not necessarily a burden or an annoyance to be the steady force in someone’s life. While it may require staying late at a party so your friend can talk to her crush for ten more minutes, it also means that she sees you as the steady, trustworthy, smart person in a sea of unreliable, gossipy, drunken party-goers. Though you may need to stay up past your bedtime to console a distressed former roommate, it means that only you can truly understand her confusion about why the guy she was seeing acted in this obnoxious way. This is a high compliment, and it helps to lessen the weight of the responsibility that comes along with it. After all, wouldn’t you rather be the dependable friend as opposed to “the one who gives horrible advice” or “the one who only cares about herself”?

This is just something I’ve been thinking about over the last week or so and I wanted to share. Do you ever feel like you’re the go-to girl in your group of friends? How do you handle it?

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