Video: Let's Talk About Alpha/Beta Males Again, Shall We?

About half a billion years ago, I wrote this post for The College Crush called “Why Alpha Males are Overrated.” Much to my surprise, it sparked a heated debate and some charming comments such as these:

“Reading the comments and lolling at how these bitches started arguing for no reason and yet they think they know shit about men and the difference between alpha and beta males. Its a guy thing, we determine whose alpha or not its not classified in who does what for their girlfriends or generally a broad description of personality, were men that’s it. Its classified in a patriarchal hierarchy that women wont understand. So leave it at that, if you run into an alpha you wouldn’t know only us men can determine that. you got fucked and chucked then hes a douche not an alpha, if he parties and gets girls hes promiscuous not alpha. leave the alpha and beta issues to the XY.”

And this

“Being loud means a man is speaking to a woman as a MAN to WOMAN (not WOMAN to WOMAN), because lets be real- even though it’s 2011, and society says women are equals blah blah blah…no women will respect a man who she feels sorry for…she’ll never sleep with him either. Taking charge translates to confidence. Knowing what he wants and doing it. I don’t have to explain why this has been an attractive trait since the age of the cavemen. Men that get things done, get girls. Betas sound good in theory…in articles like this…but it will not be what women respond to. This has nothing to do with being a “nice guy” or “asshole”…NO. Stir a womens emotions, be loud, take charge. That’s what is attractive.”

Okay, then. But despite receiving heated comments and getting numerous emails telling me what an idiot I was, the piece was well-received overall. I got a bunch more e-mails from people telling me about their alpha/beta male experiences. Now that I have a new video camera, I’m ready to start vlogging again (finally) and want to start answering e-mails on camera, since I think it’s helpful to hear other people’s thoughts on your situation. I wanted to use this topic as my first for my new vlog series. Know that if you e-mail me in the future, I will absolutely protect your privacy (as you’ll see in this video). I’ll disguise your name and paraphrase your e-mail, the general content and question is what I focus on. If you really don’t want me to use parts of your e-mail, just let me know!

With that, here is my first vlog, tackling the subject of alpha and beta male boyfriends. Comments are very much welcome! If you have a question for me, e-mail or tweet me at lifewithlauren1. P.S. I know my bangs are a little mullet-y, I’m sorry. P.P.S. Next time I won’t do the iPhone idiot thing and I’ll turn my camera the right way. Sorry.

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  1. Great Video Lauren.

    Trust is absol;utely essential in a relationship, however if a person is insecure and has some unresolved “stuff” going on it does not make a differnce how much you compliment them and build their ego up.

    I know, I spent almost 3 years with an extremely insecure woman and no matter what I did or said to show her my love (including an expensive engagement ring) her “stuff” ultimately got in the way of our happiness.

    it was an expensive and valuable learning lesson which made me realize that I’d much rather be with a person who was secure in herself .

    If one tries hard enough they may be able to make a square peg fit into a round hole, but the process is usually exhausting. Thoughts?

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