Reasons Why You're Old

Sometimes I think I’m stuck in a time warp. If you quickly asked me the year, I’d probably place the present date in the year 2009 or so. If you asked me my age and I wasn’t thinking, I’d probably say I’m about 19 or 20. These are both wrong, of course. The year is 2013 and I’m 24. When I come to terms with this, suddenly I feel really, really old. Then I start thinking about what life is currently like and I feel even older. What makes me feel so ancient you ask? Oh, the following things:

  • Hilary Duff is a mom. I used to live and die by Lizzie McGuire, so it’s a little weird to me that Hilary Duff is old enough to have a baby without getting into any sort of trouble or trying to get on MTV. In my head, she’s still rocking bangs and hanging out with Gordo. Cartoon Lizzie is still a thing. When she’s not appearing on this show, I’d estimate that Hilary is fighting Lindsay Lohan for Aaron Carter’s affections. Nope. Actually she’s married to a hockey player and has a baby. And that’s weird. Since she and I are basically the same age, this makes me think that I’m also old enough to have a baby. And that makes me feel old.
  • Kristin Cavallari is also a mom. Back when Laguna Beach was on MTV, my friends and I used to gather at my house to watch each new episode as it aired. For some reason we’d invite our guy friends over too, and then scream at them when they dared to utter a sound during Lauren and Stephen’s semi-date (or what she thought was a date). Kristin was the perfect villain on this show. Sexy, mean, yet somehow still fairly loveable. Welp, now she’s retired her black choker and piecey short do and is a mom who’s engaged to a football player. Whatttt?
  • My six-year-old cousin has an iPad. I went to my cousins’ house for Christmas and was excited to look at my little cousin’s haul with her. When I was six, I would stay up all night wondering if Santa would bring me an American Girl doll. Our idea of electronic gifts included Furbies or Tamagatchies. For today’s kids, if you’re not getting major electronics, then your Christmas sucked. It’s basically “iPad or bust.” How times have changed.
  • Kids born in 2000 are in middle school. I literally feel as though we just got over the panic about Y2k. How could it be that the turn of the millennium happened 13 years ago? How are kids who were born in 2000 already in middle school?

I feel even older when i think about how long it’s been since I was in high school, and even college. I’ve heard the expression “the days are long and the years are short” but, wow, is that true.

Do you ever lose your sense of time like I do? Do these facts make you feel really old too? Someone bring me a walker.

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