Being Spontaneous Doesn't Always Equal Romance

As another Valentine’s Day came and went and my newsfeed was flooded with pictures of teddy bears and flowers, I realized something: somewhere along the way, we have begun to associate romance with spontaneity. I’m guilty of this too. When you think about romantic gestures, you probably think about surprise flowers or a surprise trip somewhere or getting taken out to a surprise dinner. That’s part of why we love Valentine’s Day. There’s a high probability that one of these gestures will happen. It’s why we consider proposals so romantic; they’re a surprise.

While spontaneous gestures of love are certainly romantic, I’ve realized that they aren’t the only signs that someone cares for you. And I think it’s time that we start giving more ordinary gestures of love a little credit.

For example: I got into a horrible fight with my dad. I was devastated. I’m an only child, so my parents and I are very close. I knew it would pass, but at the time, I was really distraught. When Chris got home from work he just sat and talked with me about the issue for a while. He didn’t mind that I was ranting and raving like a lunatic, or crying. He offered support and listened. It’s probably not what you’d think of when you think “romance.” He didn’t bring me a birthday cake when the rest of my family forgot me (Sixteen Candles reference) or bring me a dozen tie-dyed roses (I keep seeing these everywhere lately). But, to me, he did something way more significant. Love is being there for someone when they’re sniffly and red-eyed and cranky. Those things are important.

“Stuff” is fun and surprises are great, but you also need someone who is reliable. All of the flowers and weekend getaways won’t do you any good if you really need someone to talk to you and your significant other is nowhere to be found. Or if he’s there, but he’d rather play video games, or tells you just to get over it.

It’s easy to get caught up in grand gestures of love and romance, especially if you’re on social media, where you can see pictures of everyone else’s relationships all the time. But don’t lose sight of the small yet meaningful moments that make a difference.

Oh P.S., Chris and I made this chocolate fondue last night. I had never tried it before, so I wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out, but it was awesome! If you want  a cheap and relatively healthy way to make fondue, this is it.


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