I Am Currently the Definition of "21st Century Problems"

I’m having so many 21st century problems now that I’m almost ashamed to admit it. Last month I accidentally dropped my beloved Kindle, and then lately my iPhone has been completely out of whack. I’d been ignoring the phone situation for months because I truly hate the Apple store. Look, I’m not really a big fan of crowds, but the Apple store takes this issue to a new level. This shop induces an unusual and extreme kind of anxiety in me.

I don’t know whether it’s the super bright lights, the subtle humming from all of the people talking and the electronics operating, or the knowledge that I will wait in line for half an hour (even with an appointment) and still return with a semi-functional phone, but that store always gives me a borderline panic attack. I try to remain calm as I browse the phone cases and watch the people in blue shirts help distressed customers, but I can’t stay calm. I just can’t. When I can finally belly up to “the Genius bar” I’m sweaty and begging the person to help me. It’s not good.

This time when I returned from the Apple store, despite my best efforts to just get a new phone (those things only last two years and I’m almost at my two-year anniversary) I instead returned with a phone that had been wiped clean. It was up to me to restore my contacts. Guess how that worked out? Yeah, not well. So now I get to play a fun game called “guess whose number this is based on the context of the text message.” So 2001 of me, I know. I should have used the Cloud, but by the time I went to set it up my phone was malfunctioning so badly that it just wasn’t happening.

I’ve also realized that I’ve come to a crossroads in my 21st century electronics career. I have an old iPod, an old iPhone, and a broken Kindle. I want to start saving up my money to upgrade one of these items, but I need to figure out how to use my limited funds most effectively. I know I could put all of my music on my iPhone, but I hate the idea of touching it when I’m all sweaty at the gym. Yuck. At the Apple store they always tell me to clean my phone by wiping it on my shirt. Somehow I’m not convinced that thoroughly takes care of any lingering germs. Then I spend my entire phone conversation thinking about how every gross machine I touched at the gym is now touching my face.

Honestly, I miss the old days when you had a CD player and you lugged three sleeves of CDs around with you on every road trip. Then you had four or five books too. Depending on your age, you may have also had a brick of a cellphone that allowed you to play Snake.

So simple, but so good.

Do you experience the same 21st century problems that I do?


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