Chelsea Handler on Dealing with Jealousy

If you know me, you know that Chelsea Handler is my spirit animal. I regularly have dreams that she and I are best friends (weird, I know) and I recently wrote this post about her. I love her even more after watching her do an interview with Amanda de Cadenet for “The Conversation” (a site I’m proud to write for). Chelsea covers a lot of important topics in the video, but I found it especially interesting to hear her talk about women and jealousy. Let’s face it: you’ve been jealous of someone in the past. You’ve felt competitive with someone. And chances are that someone has acted this way toward you.

For ambitious, motivated people, it’s only natural to want to get ahead. Unfortunately sometimes this means that you view others’ success as a negative for yourself. If they’re getting ahead and doing this, it must mean that you’re falling behind. This kind of jealous, competitive “girl on girl” crime is far too common. You get a promotion and your friend is seemingly happy for you, but then doesn’t want to hear about your new role. A friend gets an amazing boyfriend and you’re happy she’s happy, but you can’t help but feel a little pang of jealousy when he sweeps her away for a weekend getaway. Sometimes we feel bad about our actions and thoughts, and other times this competitive nature happens and we don’t even realize it.

But Chelsea points out that it doesn’t have to be this way. In the interview she says, “So many women are so competitive and so jealous but they don’t realize that there’s space for everybody. Just because I have a late night show doesn’t mean another girl can’t have a late night show.” This is so true. It may not always feel that way, but it really is possible to watch someone else have success, and know that you can have it too. It doesn’t have to be you versus her. You can both get to your goals and find happiness. Whether we’re talking on a major level like getting a late night show, or even just getting a new client at work, women don’t need to be so cutthroat with each other.

What I admire so much about Chelsea is that she believes in sharing her wealth and success with the people she loves. She doesn’t feel so insecure about her status that she has to clear out the competition in order to be able to sleep at night. In the interview, she also says, “It’s important to take as many people as possible in your success. And take your friends and family and loved ones with you in any way you can.”

It’s great to want to be the best in your field. It’s admirable. But it doesn’t mean that other people’s achievements take away from your own accomplishments.

Have you dealt with jealousy before? How do you avoid feeling this way toward someone else and how do you handle it when someone else gets competitive with you?


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