It’s natural to want to stay connected to other people. You want to live near your friends and family, and when you’re part of a couple you have to make choices that work for both of you. But I’ve realized that building your life around others is not always possible, nor is it wise. There’s a difference between incorporating other people into your plans and putting your agenda completely on hold for them.
Lately I’ve been considering a move (I’ve lived in this place my whole life, would like to be closer to my company, and also would like to avoid a never-ending winter) but it’s definitely been an internal struggle for me. I’m so excited about the possibility of moving, and am completely ready to see a new place. I would love to get to spend more time with my co-workers. However, I’m trying to figure out how to balance the desire for a change of scenery with the knowledge that I’ll have to be further away from my boyfriend, friends, and family members. I also don’t love the prospect of a long distance relationship. It’s not an easy choice, and it’s one that’s been keeping me up at night. This is only worsened by the fact that whenever I tell anyone my plans they exclaim, “What about your family!? You’ll be so far away! What about Chris!?” The choice isn’t an easy one.
However, when I look at how fluid my friends’ lives are (one is moving to London in September for school) it makes me realize that, at the end of the day, you have to do what you’ll feel good about. It may be difficult at the beginning, but the world is much more connected now. You can get on a plane or drive somewhere. If you don’t have the money to fly regularly, you can still FaceTime and talk to your loved ones frequently. It’s not as good as seeing them face to face, but there’s no need to feel completely separated from them just because you’ve relocated.
Also: while you’re staying in one place so you can be near friends or family, there’s a chance that they’re working on moving or creating other plans that aren’t based on your wants and wishes. Ultimately, you are solely responsible for your own happiness. You may not have total control over your decisions (for financial or other reasons) but it’s up to you to make a choice that you can look back on and feel good about. Consider how your decisions will impact other people, but you also can’t let your loved ones act as the puppet master of your life.
When it comes to my move, I just don’t want to be known as “the girl who didn’t go to Paris.” If you watched The Hills, you know what I mean. Lauren Conrad passed up a dream opportunity in Paris to spend the summer with her boyfriend. They ended up breaking up shortly after. I don’t want anyone to say that “she’ll always be known as the girl who didn’t go to Paris” like Lisa Love says to Lauren in this clip.
I want to build my family and friends into my life, but also need to know that I did all of the exploring and adventuring that I wanted to do while I was young and still able to enjoy it.