What a Dave Matthews Band Concert Taught Me About Dealing with a Crisis

For my birthday, Chris got me tickets to see Dave Matthews Band in concert. We go every year and I was so excited. He also got us tickets to see Jerry Seinfeld, which should be amazing (I’m spoiled, I know). I was trying to be the responsible girlfriend and ensure that we wouldn’t forget our tickets to the Dave show, so to help protect against this disaster I taped them to the door and we grabbed them before we left.

You can imagine my horror when we arrived at the venue and I pulled out our Jerry Seinfeld tickets. Apparently I had taped those to the door instead of the Dave tickets. Huge, epic fail. Though the mistake was mostly my fault, it should be noted that Chris didn’t pickup on the error, okay? So I’m not TOTALLY to blame….okay, maybe I am. But it was my birthday celebration so that has to count for something! If Jerry Seinfeld randomly showed up at the Dave show, we were set.

Anyway, after several frantic minutes of tearing my car apart, it became clear that the Dave tickets were safely back at our apartment, IMG_2417while we were two hours away. I felt like an idiot and was sure the day was ruined. Fortunately, we were able to head to the box office and get reprints with no problem, but for a few minutes we were both convinced that we had just taken a two-hour road trip for nothing.

While this incident illustrates that turning 25 does not make you any less of a space cadet, it also taught me something interesting. Though it was a crappy situation that could have ended in disaster, as a couple, we handled the events pretty well. We were both aggravated and horrified for several minutes, but there was no knock down drag out fight. Just a frantic rush to the box office and an overwhelming urge to hug the guy who gave us our new tickets.

When you’re in a relationship, handling bumps in the road is an important skill. For every great dinner or fun trip, there’s one where your reservations get lost or it pours the entire weekend. How you handle these situations reflects heavily on your ability to work as a couple. If you immediately turn on each other and blame the other person, it escalates an already tense situation. When these kinds of issues pop up, it’s important that you’re able to work together to calmly resolve the crisis, instead of shifting blame right away. This can help to diffuse a situation and prevent the entire outing from being ruined, even if all did not go according to plan.

IMG_2419When Chris and I were basking in the glory of a saved evening, he made an interesting point to me. He said, “Just remember that there’s always a way out of a situation. You can find a solution or talk your way out of it. Don’t give up too easily.”

This philosophical moment resonated with me. I’m all about following rules, which is great, but not always the best option. I was ready to throw in the towel as soon as I realized our tickets were missing. Chris, on the other hand, was determined to find a way to get us into that concert. My first instinct is usually to panic, but his is to work through it. But I’ve learned (from watching him) that when you approach a problem with the mindset that it will be resolved somehow, it helps to immediately take some of the stress and panic out of the events. Hence why Chris is the calm one in the relationship. It should be noted that my mom is of the same Chris-esque mindset too, which is why I call her as soon as any sign of trouble appears no matter where I am.

If I learned anything from our almost-disaster of a night, it’s that calmly working together to fight back against whatever situation you’re dealing with is much healthier and more productive than feeling sheer panic and blame passing.

Have you ever had a near-disaster of a night like us? How do you and your guy/lady handle those situations?

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