You know how girls can just talk and talk and vent? We can talk for hours on the phone or via text, and I’ve realized why: it’s because everyone likes to know that they’re not crazy. We like to hear that our frustrations or sadness or anger or hopefulness or excitement or fears (or whatever) are reasonable. It may seem like you’re searching for a solution as you discuss a subject, but sometimes you really just want to know that it’s okay to feel the way you do.
You’re dealing with a situation with your boyfriend and you’re going over it again and again in your mind. After a while, you start to lose perspective, and can’t see how things really look. That’s when you bring in a friend or family member to help offer you their take on the situation. Sometimes it is enough just to hear that the problem you’ve been obsessing over in your head really is worthy of concern and that no, you’re not crazy for staying up all night thinking about it.
Let’s say you’re dealing with your parents. They want you to do x but you want to do y, and you’re fighting about it and struggling to get them to see things from your perspective. They’ve offered their reasoning over and over and so have you, yet you still can’t come to a solution. That’s when you need to talk to someone else, whether it’s your significant other or best friend, to feel reassured that your feelings are justified and you’re not insane.
Sometimes when you’re facing a problem or dilemma, you feel like you need a solution. You need answers. If only you could figure out the right way to go, you wouldn’t worry about said issue anymore. Actually, I’ve realized that this isn’t always true. While answers are obviously helpful, sometimes just hearing that your thoughts are justified is enough to make you feel eleven billion times better. You don’t even have to be told that your thoughts are rational per say, just justified. Even if you don’t spend hours pouring your heart out on the phone to someone you care about, a quick text message conversation is often enough to bring you back down to reality and out of your own “What is wrong with me?! What is wrong with him/her!?” thoughts.
Next time you find yourself twirling an idea around and around in your mind, just ask someone you love and trust for some insight. You may find that knowing that you’re not alone or strange for feeling the way you do is enough to get you to calm down, thus eventually leading you to a solution. Even if the person can’t point you toward a blatantly obvious course of action, knowing that someone else understands and supports you is often all you need to breathe a little bit and figure things out.
How do you deal with tough issues and stress? Do you lean on family and friends? Journal it out?