Why Less is More When it Comes to Expressing Love

A few weeks ago I wrote this post as a tribute to Aaron Paul. While I still love Aaron and think he and his wife are adorable, their relationship is starting to give me a case of the weirds. It’s one thing to talk about how much you love your wife. But it seems like every interview I read with Aaron features him absolutely gushing about her, and talking about how he knew he was going to marry her from the moment he laid eyes on her. It’s not just “my wife is amazing.” It’s on another level.

Look, I’m not trying to be a hater. I’m really not. But there’s just something about being THAT loud and overstated about your love that makes me uncomfortable. I guess it’s because I see that happen on Facebook a lot, and then three days later the couple has split. It seems like that extreme degree of affection can’t last in the long run. In my mind, I’d rather have a deep connection with someone that everyone else only hears about from time to time. I’m not saying Aaron is trying to cover up some fatal flaw in his relationship, nor am I saying his marriage is doomed or that his love isn’t real, but a lot of the couples who seem the most obsessed with each other are also the first to split at the sign of trouble. It’s kind of like being the smartest or most talented guy in the room. Usually the person who’s going around telling everyone how smart and talented they are isn’t actually the smartest or most talented.

This overstated kind of love has become more prevalent now that Facebook is a thing. It’s also much easier to attempt to compare your relationship with someone else’s now, thanks to social media. If your boyfriend isn’t really a Facebook type (mine isn’t) and your friend’s boyfriend is, you can start to feel like his amount of love for her via social media shows that he cares more than yours does. In reality, it’s not what’s posted on Facebook that counts. However, Facebook has become such a big part of our lives that it’s hard to see that. While grand gestures and bold proclamations of love are sweet, it’s what’s happening when you two are together alone (and offline) that really counts. Instead of obsessing about what your guy did or didn’t post, try to keep social media and public displays out of it. Not everyone wants to talk about relationships publicly, but that doesn’t mean they feel any less strongly about their significant other.

How do you feel about this kind of loud, overstated love? Do you think social media makes this problem worse? 

 

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