As much as I adore living in Charlotte, moving to an entirely new place is hard. In fact, it’s probably one of the hardest things you can do. You can forget just how monumental it is, because you’re so caught up in all of it. Yet every so often I’ll have a day like yesterday, where it just hits me like a ton of bricks. I realized that this is, in fact, not summer camp or a vacation. It’s real life and I’m in an entirely new place.
See the thing is, when you move you always have to be “on.” You have to push yourself every day. You have to be “on” as you follow your GPS because you don’t know where you’re going and need to listen carefully or you’ll end up in the wrong place. You have to be “on” as you try to make new friends, because you’re not comfortable enough with them yet to just be in a bad mood or not have a lot to say. You have to be “on” as you follow up and actually make plans with that nice girl you met at that one event, otherwise she’ll disappear into the abyss of Friends That Could Have Been. You have to be “on” as you scroll through pages upon pages of reviews trying to find a doctor because you can’t go to the same one you’ve always gone to.
Things just aren’t easy when you move. You gain new experiences, but you give up the ability to settle into a routine. You have to use your brain a lot, always pay attention, and constantly push yourself forward. The routine will come, but you have to build it first, and that takes work.
So yesterday, I just had a “moment.” In the three months since I moved to Charlotte, I’ve been full of positivity. I’ve been connecting with friends of friends to get together. I’ve started a Meetup group. I’ve been learning my way around. But yesterday I was burnt out. The unfamiliarity of my new living situation coupled with the constant need to be hustling (for friends or business connections or new restaurants to try) got to me, and I just started to freak. It was then that I realized that sometimes it’s okay to have a moment. It doesn’t mean you made a mistake or that your whole life is horrible. It just means that you’re temporarily overwhelmed or upset or insecure, and you need to embrace that moment.
I fought the urge to say, “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m just being dramatic” and instead I let myself have that moment. I sat on my bathroom floor and cried. Because sometimes life is stressful and you just have to let yourself cry. It’s not pathetic and it’s not stupid. It’s necessary.
After a few minutes, I felt instantly better. I had my moment and I sobbed my eyes out and I was done. The crying session didn’t have any major implications for my future in Charlotte. It didn’t mean that it was time to pack up and move back to Syracuse. It was a moment and it needed to happen and then it was over.
Instead of trying to smother your emotions or push them back down where they came from, let them out. Take a look at them carefully and analyze them and really feel them, and then find a way to move on. There’s no shame in having a moment from time to time, as long as it’s just a moment and not a habitual thing.
When was the last time you had a moment? How did you move past it?