Though friendships become more about quality and not quantity as you age, it’s still easy to get caught up in the number of friends you have. But when you try to pad your life with “friends” who might not actually be there for you, you’re wasting a lot of energy maintaining these relationships and probably aren’t getting much back.
I saw this quote the other day and it really stuck with me:
You want that person to get a quick cup of coffee with. You want someone who’s willing to check out that new show. But while you focus on these acquaintances, don’t forget to cultivate real, true friendships. It’s pretty easy to take an hour and go to lunch. But you may find that the people who are always up for a lunch date aren’t there when you’re having an issue at work and need to vent. Ideally, you’ll find a friend who will be there to grab lunch, but will also be there if you need something that’s not necessarily convenient or fun.
Be proactive about finding that friendship that goes deeper than casual gossip at Starbucks. Get picky about the people you hang out with.
We spend so much time analyzing whether other people like us, when we should really be thinking about whether we like them. Just because someone is there, doesn’t mean that you need to build a friendship with them.
Instead, think about what they bring to your life. How do you feel when you hang out with them? If you needed them, would they be there for you? It doesn’t matter whether you hang out in the same group or whether you’ve known each other for ten years. If that person doesn’t make your life happier and more positive, move on and focus on building a relationship with someone who will.