I’m a proponent of long distance relationships. I really am. I know many people think they’re a waste of time/bound to end poorly/other negative things, but I don’t think that’s always the case. When you’re in a long distance relationship, you get really good at communicating. You each are forced to develop your own lives, and bring a lot more to the table as a result. But I also know that, despite all of these positives, long distance can really, really suck.
Chris and I have been doing distance for a little over three months now. For the most part it’s not as bad as I anticipated. We FaceTime a lot, and are constantly in touch over text and e-mail. But I’ve found that the transitions are still really challenging. For example, he was here visiting. We had an terrific time. He left and I was a wreck. But today, a day later, I’m perfectly content to do my own thing and catch up with him on FaceTime at the end of the day. It’s like you get so used to being together or so used to being apart that when that changes it throws your whole system off. I was fine with the distance until I remembered what it was like to have him nearby, and then I wasn’t fine with it again.
Though I’m no long distance expert, I’ve found that focusing on something productive and positive helps to ease the sting when you say goodbye after a visit. Whether that’s contacting a new friend to get together, finding a class to take, heading to the gym, or looking for some volunteer work, doing something good for yourself or for someone else helps to keep you from wallowing.
I’m always amazed how much better I feel when I do something useful after I say goodbye to Chris. I have to fight the urge to watch Netflix and be pouty and get myself going. It’s not always easy to get yourself to get motivated to do something when you’re feeling sad, but once you force yourself to start making moves you’ll find that your mood lifts quickly.
How do you cope with long distance in your relationship?