Contrary to Popular Belief, You Actually Should Be Picky

Whether you’re dating, looking for a job, or trying to make friends in a new city, you’ll probably have people tell you that you shouldn’t be picky. You can’t set the bar too high or have unrealistic expectations. I agree that you have to be open minded (that boring job or slightly awkward guy may end up being exactly what you were looking for), but at the same time I want to drop this notion that we shouldn’t be selective in how we spend our time. There’s a difference between being ridiculous and knowing what you want. When you’re in your twenties, you’ve had enough time to figure out what works for you and what doesn’t, and you should act accordingly.

I know that I’ve wasted time on friends who didn’t make me feel great, business partnerships that were draining, and other dead-end relationships. I kept telling myself that I had to be more accepting and that no one was perfect. While this is true to a certain extent, you also have to be able to identify when your gut is telling you something and it’s time to listen.

Why waste time on things that don’t energize you, excite you, and put you in a great mood? It’s much better to spend some time alone than it is to waste time with people and opportunities that aren’t meant for you. Don’t be afraid to say no, don’t feel bad about being picky, and never apologize for knowing what you want. There’s no shame in identifying what works for you and what doesn’t, and refusing to settle.

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