When you’re dating, you spend a lot of time focusing on other people. You’re wondering what they’re thinking or what they’re up to or what they meant by that text. All of this is fun and exciting and a little nerve-wracking and great. But while you’re in the midst of dating and talking about dating and hearing about dating, you can’t forget to turn the focus inward. Dating can do strange things to your self-confidence. Someone doesn’t call you back and all of a sudden you’re wondering whether this would have happened if you were blonde or thinner or more athletic or any number of things that actually don’t matter. There are a few perks to focusing on yourself as you date:
1.) When you’re focused on yourself, your whole day doesn’t depend on whether he texted you back or made plans with you for later that week. You’re too busy signing up for classes, challenging yourself at the gym, reading a book you wouldn’t normally read, or doing other activities. This helps to eliminate a lot of the frustration that’s common in dating. The most intense dating-related hurts come when you’re spending WAY too much time analyzing, thinking about, and planning your day around someone else. When you’ve got plenty of other things going on in your life, dating becomes one small piece of that. This kind of life also helps to give you a lot of self-confidence.
2.) Who wants to date someone who has nothing to say? I was pretty sure I had discovered my husband when I flipped through his pictures and realized he was tall, had a good job, loved his family, and looked like Leonardo DiCaprio. Then we started talking and it quickly went downhill. The kid had NOTHING to bring to the conversation. He wasn’t mean or offensive. He was just there. Good looks are cool, but they only get you so far. People want to date someone who’s dynamic and vibrant and excited. They want to date someone with stories to tell and jokes and opinions and stuff to discuss. Part of the way you become that kind of person is by getting a life outside of dating. When you’ve got a lot going on, you automatically have a lot to talk about. That makes you a much more attractive and appealing person to spend time with.
When you’re looking to meet someone, make sure that you’re still focusing attention on self-development and improvement. Being single is the perfect time to take classes, try new things, explore your hobbies further, and do the things that make you the best version of yourself.