You’ve probably heard the term “guy’s guy” before. It refers to a dude who gets along with other dudes and is probably interested in one or more of the following: a.) sports b.) beer c.) ladies. Being a guy’s guy is thought of as a positive thing. There’s value in male bonding and friendship. Yet we don’t hear the term “girl’s girl” very often. In fact, it’s probably more common to hear girls talk about how they hate other girls because of drama, cattiness, etc.
This makes me really sad. Why don’t we emphasize and value female friendship like guys value their bro time? Being a girl’s girl should be something to be celebrated.
When a guy ditches his guy friends to spend time with a girl, he’s subjected to all kinds of harassment . It’s frowned upon. Yet I can think of dozens of instances when friends have bailed on me to hang out with a guy or disappeared altogether when they get into a relationship and there’s not even a discussion about it. It’s just kind of understood that that’s something that happens. I try to be really conscious of this issue when I’m in a relationship, but I know I’ve been guilty of it too. It’s like we have friendships to sustain us until we get into a new relationship, and then we’ll gladly sacrifice these female connections in favor of our new boo.
Relationships are great. Guys are fun. Being in love is magic. But female friendship is one of the most valuable things you can have in your life. I really think all women should try to be more of a girl’s girl. Don’t let your friendships be the first thing to go when you get busy. Don’t skip drinks with friends because that new guy calls and wants to know what you’re doing. Leave work when it’s time to go to dinner with your best friend, even if your inbox is still full. It’s important.
I know that not everyone is born a girl’s girl. Some people just aren’t as naturally focused on friendship, and that’s totally fine. So if you want to make this area of your life better, here are a few places to start:
- Put yourself out there. Sometimes you’re new to a city and don’t have female friends. Sometimes your friends move away. It happens. You have to put in work if you want to have good friendships. It may feel awkward and you’re busy, I know, but it’s worth it. Ask that girl from work to grab coffee. Go to the networking event together. Extend the invitation. The worst they can say is “no.” And they won’t.
- Be aware of it: It’s easy to get swept up in a relationship or work or training for a marathon (props to you, you’re a better person than I) or whatever else it is that takes up your free time. But you have to make friendship a priority in your life, no matter how busy you are. They dissolve quickly, especially when both people are busy. Make it a point to talk regularly, and see each other as often as you can.
- Fight the stereotype. There’s a reason that women are so quick to say “Oh, I hate other girls. They’re so catty.” Because a lot of us are. Make it a point to be a person who’s fun to be friends with, and don’t be the reason why this phrase is thrown around so easily. Cut the drama. Give compliments. Be a supportive friend. Really, truly listen. Prove those stereotypes wrong instead of reinforcing them.
It’s hard to juggle friendship when you’ve got work/school, relationships, exercise, and about half a million other things to deal with. But it’s too easy to push friendships aside in favor of other priorities. Don’t do it. Everyone loves a girl’s girl, and life is so much better with these kinds of connections.