Dating is an adventure/jungle/many other analogies. If you’re doing it, you know this to be true. It can be fun and teach you a lot about yourself, but you also encounter some really awkward situations from time to time. I actually don’t mind the occasional bad date, because I think they build character and make for a good story. I also find awkward moments more amusing than I probably should. But bad dates illustrate the need for a universal code of ethics for dating. I kind of thought this existed already, but sometimes I go out with someone and I realize they didn’t get the memo and I wish they had. Here are a few dating “commandments” that I think we single types should follow:
- Let’s drink at the same(ish) pace: If you’re ordering your 73rd beer and I’m still on vodka tonic #2, we’re out of sync and that’s weird. Along the same lines, I won’t order a million drinks if you’re sipping casually. We should try to move at the same pace, even if we’re not going exactly drink for drink.
- Don’t talk about past dates/relationships: I don’t care if you’re telling me about how crazy your ex was or how horrible that one date was, it’s just a weird subject to broach. Let’s not go there. Pretend we’re in Fight Club. Just don’t talk about it. And definitely don’t ask if I’m “having luck” on Match. #awkward
- Or Match.com at all, for that matter: I’m not ashamed to be on Match. It’s a good way to meet people, etc. etc. But I also don’t want the whole restaurant to hear you talking about my Match profile, encouraging them to stare at the “Real First Date” ad unfolding before their very eyes.
- Be positive: You have a crazy roomie/bad job/nutty family. I have annoying things in my life too. Let’s just not talk about them. Happy times only. No buzzkill allowed.
- Let’s have a give and take in the conversation: When one person is doing all of the question asking it turns into an interview, and that gets weird. I’ll ask a little, you ask a little.
- Look for the universal signs that indicate it’s time to go: It can be awkward wrapping up a first date, particularly if it didn’t go amazingly well but wasn’t a total disaster either. Be on the lookout for the universal signs that indicate that I’m ready to go, and I’ll do the same. This may include: watch checking, faux yawning, taking out of phone to view an “important” message, gazing off into space behind the other person’s shoulder, not ordering another drink even when the waitress checks on us three times, prolonged silences, and the use of “Well….” with no thought after it.
- If we happen to run into your friend while out on our date, have a brief conversation and then move on: Definitely don’t invite them to sit with us. A quick chat is okay, but we’re trying to get to know each other.
When we’re all on the same page, the likelihood of a really bizarre date decreases greatly, making the world a better place for us all.
Do you have any dating “commandments” that you’d add to this list?