The Friends You Don’t Need In Your Twenties (Or Ever, Really)

There are a lot of not cool things about getting older. These things include: having to pay bills, worrying that everyone else is getting married and you’re going to be a cat lady and you hate cats, wondering if you’re going to get wrinkles soon. But with those pesky problems come a few perks (see this post for more on that) and one of those perks is feeling more comfortable keeping your friend circle tight. In high school you had to travel in a pack of 8-10 girls or else you felt like a freak. Now, if you roll with one or two really great ladies, you’re golden.

With that said, now’s the time to start making some edits to your friend circle, which may mean getting rid of some people who aren’t adding value to your life. The friends no one needs in their twenties (or ever, really) include:

The one-upper

You got a promotion? Cool. She got a promotion last month and is now making double what she used to make and has a company car so….I mean she’s really happy for you, she’s just saying.

The “Is everyone hanging out without me?” friend

I once had a friend, who is also a fully grown adult person like myself, go through each day of my week and ask what I did and who I saw because she was convinced I was going to social events with our mutual friends and not inviting her. I was highly confused and instantly thought of Mindy Kaling’s book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) as I went through the interrogation process. I wish this was not a true story, but it is. No one needs a friend who wants you all to herself or feels weird when you have other friends/a life outside of your friendship. Sometimes friends all hang out in a group, sometimes friends hang out one-on-one. Sometimes friends hang out without each other and sit on their couch alone and watch Netflix and eat Annie’s because they’re tired after a long week. Either way. The right friend will appreciate your connection and want you to have other relationships.

The boy crazy one

Talking about guys is amusing, of course. But amusing for, like, between half an hour and 45 minutes. Not amusing enough to carry you throughout an entire dinner. If you have a friend who can only talk about the opposite gender and her encounters with these individuals, it’s time to move on. Unless you’re dating Gosling and then tell me everything duh.

The one who questions everything you do

Why are you dating him? Why did you take that job? Why are you moving in with that roommate? There are plenty of other people who will pass judgement on the things you do. Your friends shouldn’t be in that group. As long as you’re being smart and healthy and trying your best, they should be there to support you.

The one who’s only available on her time

Well, she’d love to hang out buttttt she’s with her boyfriend umm he’s going to be gone next weekend though, so maybe you guys could do something then? Nope. No you can’t. You’re going to be busy hanging out with people who fit you in no matter what’s going on, not when they have nothing better to do.

The opera singer

This is a friend who only talks about herself (Get it? Because opera singers go “me, me, me, meeeee”) and unfortunately a lot of people do this, probably not even realizing it. If you’ve got a friend who would love to talk about her work drama, her guy problems, her fight with her mom, etc., but glosses over any issue you bring up, it’s time to move on. Friendships are a two-way street. Sometimes you need more attention and sometimes she will. Unless she’s paying you to be her therapist, it’s time to find someone who’s willing to put out what she’s taking.

The one who’s always mad

Let’s be honest, once you get past high school, there’s really no need to be fighting with your friends. You can have disagreements, sure. But full-blown text message war, yelling phone call, heated FIGHTS? Umm…no. Why? What’s the point? If you’ve got a friend who thrives on drama and always finds something to be mad at you about, cancel your subscription, you’re over her issues.

What kinds of friends are you moving on from as you get older? 

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