Why Texting is Ruining Your New Relationship

I have a close connection with my phone. If you send me a text during the day and I’m not in the midst of writing/editing or on a client call, I’ll probably answer it. It’s just the way I’ve always been. Sometimes I wish I could leave my phone in my car and not care. But when I do that, I feel this strange burning in my brain as I imagine all of the people who will be trying unsuccessfully to contact me.

Texting_EmojiWhile a lot of other people are like me in terms of phone awareness, plenty of others aren’t. This creates a disconnect that can make life (particularly dating life) complicated. In my mind, if you’re interested in me, you’re responding to my text within an hour. If you wait four hours, clearly you’re not that into me. If you wait a full day? It’s dead in the water. But to a non phone person that’s not the case at all. So while I’m convinced that it’s time to move on, they’re just now realizing that their phone has been in their coat pocket all day. Whoopsy doopsy. It’s a completely different approach and it allows for huge misunderstandings.

Texting is great for so many reasons, of course. But it also makes dating etiquette confusing. Now you have the ability to be in someone’s face all the time, but you’re also still getting to know that person. You don’t really know how they prefer to communicate. Just because you can bomb in anytime you want, doesn’t mean you should. If you’re expecting a day-long, ongoing text conversation, you’re putting a lot of pressure on a new relationship. If you’re judging things by how quickly that person gets back to you (or doesn’t) via text, you’re working off of warning signs that may not actually exist at all.

I’m realizing that texting can ruin a lot of new relationships before they even get off the ground because of the huge potential for miscommunication and/or frustration. One person is aggravated because they haven’t heard from the other since 9 a.m., the other is annoyed because they keep getting texts while they’re trying to work. It’s a mess.

My goal for myself is to be less of a texting-focused person. Not everyone is glued to their phone all of the time. That’s fine. It also doesn’t mean that the relationship is doomed or that the person’s interest level is at -2 percent. Being less phone obsessed is essential if you’re hoping to preserve your sanity.

Do you struggle with this whole texting obsession thing like I do?

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