I think of myself as a pretty forward-thinking person, especially when it comes to relationships. I’m highly focused on my career, and could never be with someone who doesn’t respect that. I believe guys
and girls are equals, and that many stereotypes about how men or women “should”
behave are dumb. With that said, I can also be old-fashioned when it comes to
dating. And I think that’s okay to some extent. These are the three things I’m old school about:
- Communication: Look, I have no problem initiating contact. This isn’t 1962. Women can and should make contact first. But at the same time, I’m pretty adamant about how much effort the other person puts into the relationship. If I’m always the one starting the conversation, I’m going to lose interest quickly. It’s fun and flattering to feel like you’re being pursued at least a little bit.
- Making plans: I can’t stand this 21st century “just text me later and we can meet up” approach to dating. No, I will not. If your idea of a date is meeting up after we’ve both spent the night doing other things, then no. I’m not saying we have to go to the most expensive restaurant in town and order one of everything as we talk for hours and hours, but dating is about going out and doing things together. It’s about pre-arranged plans and setting aside time to get to know each other. It’s not just “I have nothing else to do, so we can hang out on my couch.” If all goes well, there will be plenty of time in the future to sit around together. Right now, structure is good.
- Consistency: I don’t expect day-long text message conversations. Actually, I don’t WANT them, because I’m working and hopefully you are too. But I also don’t want to have you go silent on me for three days, only to resurface and ask when we’re hanging out again. If it’s clear that things are going well and both parties are still interested, consistency is important. Even if you can’t hang out that week for whatever reason, check in via text or a phone call. Disappearing and reappearing is a weird mind game and I’m not a fan.
Are you old school when it comes to dating? How so?