We all know that John Mayer is a wonderful singer, songwriter, and guitar player. We also know that sometimes he doesn’t always think before he speaks, resulting in cringe-worthy interviews. But I was watching an acoustic show of his and heard him say something that I thought was really well-put. It goes like this:
“You’ve got to be able to explain things to yourself when the lights go off and you get into bed. You’ve got to be able to deal with you at the end of the day.”
It’s so easy to spend your time trying to do things to please other people. You can waste all day doing things because they seem to be the popular or easiest choice. But at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with the choices you’ve made. Because of this, you have to take everyone else out of the equation when it comes to decision-making.
You pick a career that you think is boring because your parents love to brag to their friends about what you’re up to and you’re the star of extended family gatherings.
You stay in an unhappy relationship because your co-workers always tell you how lucky you are to have your charming/handsome/successful significant other.
You stay in a city that isn’t doing much for you because you know your friends would be upset if you left.
If you’re a kind and sensitive person, it’s natural to be concerned with how other people are feeling. You don’t want them to be upset, and you definitely don’t want your choices to be to blame if they are. That’s great. But you also can’t plan your life around other people’s feelings. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one dealing with the aftermath of your decisions.
It can be hard to turn the volume down on other people’s opinions when you’re trying to figure out what it is that would make you the happiest. But you have to hit the “do not disturb” button on the iPhone that is your brain in order to give yourself some space to figure out what you want. This way you know it’s not what you think your parents want, or what your co-workers would be jealous of, but it’s a choice that really, truly sits well with you.
Do you agree with Mr. Mayer’s advice?