This post is for anyone who’s ever been told, “Oh my Godddd, why are you still single? You’re such a catch!” or “I just don’t get it. Have you tried online dating? My friend met her boyfriend that way!” or other things of that nature. It’s also for you if you pride yourself on having your shizz sort of together, yet are still very single.
A word of advice: Stop trying to figure out if you do something weird with your face when you laugh or if you eat like a savage when you’re on a dinner date. Stop trying to analyze whether you’re too picky or if you’re standoffish. Stop getting all upset and frantic about your singleness. You can do everything correctly and be positive and have a full life, yet still have a hard time meeting the ideal significant other. Because finding a great person to get into a relationship with takes time. And it’s easy to forget that.
Now that online dating is a thing, you may start to believe that meeting your match is simply like shopping online. Swipe, swipe, browse, select, order, done. Bingo! In reality, this is not the case. Yes, you may have thousands of potential matches at your fingertips, but that doesn’t mean that meeting someone who’s great for you will happen instantaneously.
I always read these articles that talk about how the first step in getting into a relationship is being the best version of yourself. And I believe that. In order to attract a partner you have to have hobbies, a positive outlook on life, self-confidence, etc. I also believe that there should be a “but” attached to this statement. And that “but” should go something like this: “But just because you’re the best version of yourself, doesn’t mean that your ideal significant other will show up in 30 minutes or less like the pizza delivery man.”
Meeting a partner isn’t an “if, then” situation. It’s not a problem you were presented with on the SATs. It’s not “IF you live a vibrant life, THEN you will instantly meet someone who adores you.” It’s more like, “You need to live a vibrant life and then at some point you will find someone great. It may take three days or three months or three years. But when you’re living a great life, you put yourself in a position to make that happen.”
If you’re spending your time hanging out with friends, working a job you love, and exercising, yet are still riding solo, don’t fret. You’re not doing anything wrong. You don’t need to reevaluate anything. Just give it some time. It’s a little trickier than just placing an order on Amazon, you know?