If you’re like me, every single time you log onto Facebook or check out Instagram, someone else you know is announcing that they’re engaged and are so excited to be marrying their best friend. You feel happy for them, of course, but there’s also this tiny part of your brain that’s like, “Oh my God, EVERYONE IS GETTING MARRIED! I need to get it together.”
Combine this social media stuff with pressure from family or friends or whomever about your relationship status, and you can end up feeling pretty focused on finding The One on OkCupid or at the bar or in the produce section at your local grocery store. But if you’re only focused on finding your soulmate as you’re dating, you’re doing yourself a disservice. No, you don’t want to waste time going out with people who are absolutely wrong for you. At the same time, there’s something to be said for dating different types of people instead of worrying about whether this person has all of the traits you need in a life partner before you commit to getting drinks or dinner with them.
There’s just no need to try to cast every single date for the role of Soulmate/The One. Sometimes it’s okay if they end up filling the role of Person I’m Casually Dating and We’ll See Where it Goes or Guy I’m Interested In But Am Still Figuring Everything Out. Every date you go on helps you to get better at dating, and every person you spend time with shows you what you do/don’t want in a significant other, leading you closer to filling the role of Person I Will Be With Forever at some point.
Plus, dating is so much more relaxing when you’re not worrying about whether every guy/girl is going to end up being your future spouse, you know? Even if they don’t, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure or that dating sucks or that person sucks. Finding the right person for you SHOULD be a long, slow process since you’re, you know, ideally making a lifetime commitment and all.