I recently gained access to my parents’ HBOGo account, which means I decided to rewatch all of “Sex and the City” starting from Season 1. When I watched this show the first time around, I hadn’t had much relationship experience. I appreciated the show, of course, but I figured it would look a whole lot different now that I’m older and, hypothetically, wiser.
Let me just say, I love “Sex and the City.” As a friend enthusiast and a single girl, I love it. And as a writer, I have a lot of love for Carrie. But, GOD sometimes she makes me mad. There are so many instances when I find myself yelling at the screen, trying to get her to behave differently.
For one thing, she tolerates exceptionally poor treatment from Mr. Big. I’m only on season 2 and I know it’s a long and bumpy road, but seriously. You’re going to be okay with the fact that he won’t let you leave stuff at his place when you’ve been dating that long? You’re going to be fine with the fact that you always operate on his timetable? You’re going to accept the fact that he’s packing up and going to Paris and oh yeah maybe moving there too without even telling you? Then you volunteer to come with and his reaction is lukewarm? No. Come on, Carrie. Have some self worth.
Then there’s the way she is with her friends. Yes, that foursome has the kind of bond I think everyone dreams about. They’re ride-or-die-friends. But Carrie is also prettyyy self-centered. Every time I get friend envy (friendvy?) over their connection, we come to a part of the show where Carrie instantly changes the subject away from a Miranda or Charlotte problem back to her own issue. Or bails on her friends for Big. Or does some other thing that makes me go, “Ugh, stop. You are being a suck-tastic friend right now. LISTEN to what they’re saying. It’s not all about you. Plus, who do you think is picking up the pieces when Big screws you over again? Yep, your girlfriends. The ones you keep ditching and flaking on.”
*Sidenote: Ditching friends for boyfriends is my ultimate #1 grand supreme pet peeve and its horribleness should receive its own blog post, but considering she’s the star of a show that’s supposed to celebrate female friendship, Carrie is a bad friend kind of a lot*
Anyway, I guess the show does a good job of portraying relationships realistically, even though it’s infuriating sometimes. Whether we’d like to admit it or not, I think we’ve all been in a situation where we were a tad too thirsty in a relationship or a bit too selfish in a friendship. Maybe part of the reason the Carrie-Big thing drives me so nuts is because I see hints of my past self in what Carrie is going through.
The other thing is that the show does a great job with character development, so you start to feel like you’re the 5th friend in that group. Therefore, when Carrie is acting a fool, as her friend, you feel the urge to intervene. Except you’re sitting on your couch and the show’s already been written, so too bad, so sad, you can’t.
Look, Carrie from season 2, I love ya, but come ON. Have some self worth! You don’t need Big if he’s going to be that way. You can do so much better (insert Aidan foreshadowing here). If he doesn’t want to let you keep a blowdryer at his place after all that time, then see ya! Find someone else who will. If he’s not going to involve you in major life decisions, time to move on. You’re successful and funny and not afraid to wear crazy outfits in public. Go do your thing and let him take his sulky mug elsewhere. Remember, everyone deserves to find the Jay-Z to their Queen Bey.