Hey, Let’s Stop Being Crappy To Other Women: A Guide to Stress-Free Female Friendship

chelsea handler female friendship advice


I love my female friends, and am actually on a quest to make some more in my new city. But unfortunately, I also know that being a woman and interacting with other women can be challenging. For some reason, for many of us the knee-jerk reaction is to go negative about ladies we don’t really know.

I’ve never understood this. Personally, if I see a girl with great hair, I’ll tell her she has great hair. If I’m meeting a guy friend’s girlfriend, I’m going to assume she’s cool unless she gives me reason to believe otherwise. I’m not saying I’m the patron saint of female friendship or anything, but I wish women as a collective would make it a point to go with the “innocent until proven guilty” mentality when meeting another one of our kind. Instead of focusing on what separates us, let’s look at the things we have in common. Being a woman isn’t easy; time to cut each other some slack.

Yes, there are women out there who will try to move in on your guy. There are women who will try to undercut you to get ahead at work. There are girls who will make snarky comments to you in line at bar bathrooms for no real reason. It’s true and it sucks. But for every boyfriend stealer or catty co-worker, I have to believe that there are at least three girls who truly want to just be friends with your boyfriend or who want to help make your 9-5 better. Call me overly optimistic, but I don’t think we give our gender enough credit. Instead of assuming that girl you don’t really know is out to get you, why not give her a chance to prove you wrong?

I love Chelsea Handler for about half a billion reasons, but one of the main ones is because she’s a huge supporter of other women. When she was on E! her staff was heavily female, and she regularly talks about how women need to have each other’s backs. This is one of my favorite quotes from her on that topic:

“Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours glow brighter. We women have to stick together. I’m very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.”

Life isn’t “Survivor.” No one has to get voted off the island, so there’s no need to feel as cutthroat as we often do towards each other. A girl can have great hair, an impressive job title, and a sexy boyfriend. That doesn’t mean your life is any less great.

There’s room for more than a handful of successful women in the universe, and in fact I’m of the belief that hanging out with women who are kicking ass helps you to be better yourself. She can be Katy Perry dancing with smiling sharks at the SuperBowl, but you’re Queen Bey or Carrie Underwood. Everyone wins, you know?

Like this post? You're awesome! Be even more awesome and share it!Tweet about this on TwitterShare on FacebookPin on PinterestShare on RedditShare on Google+


  1. Yes! Great post, I especially love those 2 last lines 🙂

  2. I love that quote! I’ve often thought there are ways to make yourself feel better without making someone else feel bad, and the quote from Chelsea makes that sentiment much more elegant.

Speak Your Mind