How Dating is Like One of Your Favorite Childhood Stories

Goldilocks (1)

Communicating in the early stages of a relationship is like “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” It’s very easy to do too much or too little. You’ve either got a person who falls off the face of the planet or you’ve got someone who’s tweeting you, commenting on your Facebook posts, and resurrecting your MySpace page demanding to be in your top 8, all before you’ve had your first cup of coffee. When you find someone who’s successfully able to strike that communication balance, that’s special.

The more I date, the more I realize how important it is to find someone who communicates in a way that makes you comfortable. Sure, chemistry is important and you’ve got to share core values, but if you constantly feel neglected or suffocated, eventually the relationship is going to fall apart. If you need to talk regularly throughout the day, be with someone who can do that for you. If you’re crazy-busy from 9-5 and can’t chat until work is over that’s fine too, as long as the other person is also okay with that.

I’m really independent, but also like regular communication. I love random texts during the day. You want to e-mail me a video you think I’d like? Awesome! Want to set up plans for this weekend? Perfect. But I also have to be able to focus on a project for two hours without coming up for air and seeing a dozen texts wondering where I am.

I return that favor communication-wise. I’ll send you a link to a cute kid giving himself a pep talk as he rides a motorized skateboard and send you a Snapchat of me making an ugly face while waiting in line at Target. But if you’re getting dinner with co-workers, I’m not doing a drive-by of your apartment trying to figure out why you haven’t checked in yet.

Unfortunately there’s no formula to get you to the correct amount of communication that should happen. It would be much easier if such a thing existed, I know. But until then, consider yourself Goldilocks and seek out that one person who’s texting/calling/Snapchat patterns are justtttt right.

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