The other day I read an excerpt from an interview my beloved Anna Kendrick did with Fashion magazine. In the interview, Anna gives a piece of dating advice that inspired a “lightbulb” moment for me. Her quote:
“The wrong kind of guy to fall in love with is the guy who will let go of the steering wheel as a joke. A guy who finds it amusing to make you uncomfortable, which is more common that you’d think, is someone you want to avoid.”
I mean seriously, how true is that? But as she points out, when you’re out there dating you’ll encounter plenty of guys who do stuff like this. In fact, you probably don’t even think about this as an undesirable trait in a partner. You just chalk it up to immaturity.
Exhibit A: I was once in a car with a guy who drove on the wrong side of the (empty, luckily) road for a few seconds as a joke. He said it was “cute” to watch me shriek and grab onto his arm. In my mind, it was not cute. It was scary. And yet I went out with him again because I knew that he wasn’t doing this little performance to be spiteful or psycho. He thought it was funny and was trying to flirt-tease me. Looking back on it, there’s nothing silly or flirty about making your date feel nervous.
I’m not of the belief that women are delicate little flowers who need to be shielded and protected by men. But at the same time, I think it comes down to decency and, as the article says, respect. If someone likes you enough, they shouldn’t want to watch you squirm. They should want to be the one to help make any and all squirmy feelings go away so you can relax again. Just a point to consider as you’re weighing potential love interests.