The One Piece of Dating Advice You Should Definitely Ignore

ditchdatinggames

When you’re dating, you hear about all kinds of “rules” that you should play by in order to keep the other person interested in you. In fact, there are entire books written on the subject. You’ll read that you should wait a certain period of time before returning a text, for example. Always letting the other person text you first is another one. They’ll tell you how available you should be when you’re asked to get together (hint: not very). I get that you don’t want to appear super thirsty and desperate, since that’s not attractive. But I also think that playing games is highly overrated. If you like someone and you’re interested in them, why make them work to figure this out?

When it comes to dating: play games at your own risk. And realize you might be on the losing end of things.

Besides the fact that it’s rude to toy with someone else’s emotions, when you play games, you’re actually making things far more confusing than they need to be, thus increasing your risk for miscommunication. You think you’re being cute and coy, he takes it as “Meh, thanks but no thanks” and stops calling. Then you’re upset when your phone doesn’t ring. In reality, if you had just dropped a few hints that you were into it, maybe you would have been spending Friday night together.

The other thing I’ve learned about dating is this: the other person shouldn’t feel like they have to prove their worth all the time. It’s okay to compliment them. In fact, it’s nice! If you tell them you think they’re funny/like the restaurant they picked/enjoy spending time with them, you’re not “letting them win” or whatever else you’re afraid might happen. You’re simply putting them at ease. Let’s face it: dating can be nerve-wracking for even the most confident people. A few words of encouragement from someone you like can go a long way. Don’t be afraid to dish out a compliment or two every now and then.

We (women in particular) are constantly bombarded with messages about playing hard to get. Men find this more attractive. You want to be the one in control. The list goes on. But there’s a major difference between coming across as desperate and coming across as completely disinterested. Don’t be afraid to express earnest excitement about a date.

 

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